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Old Aborted Child.....very controversial @ 12-03-2003, 02:32 AM
#1

Ok I know this site is dead as fuck, but I figured if there are any ill emcees that are good at storytelling that want to collab with this(at least this is the way I'm envisioning it so far) let me know. The point is to write from the perspective of a child about to be born but brought to an end because of an abortion(which can be good or bad). My verse is already written and recorded, I just gotta wait for my other comp with my audios and shit to get fixed so I can post it. Just offer feedback and whether you would want to collab:


While I might just be trapped inside my mother's womb as an embryo//
I've been waiting months for my arrival, it's been maybe 10-or-so//
It's minutes away from her conception, I'd say about 10-to-go//
I can hear the doctors mumbling, probably just excited for my head-to-show//
I feel healthy, free from diseases, for some reason, I know about Jesus//
It's from remembering the prayers my mother recites till her mind eases//
I wanna be like him, the next prophet trying to keep-the-peace//
Reaching my hands out to the misfortunate, and anyone who weeps-from-grief//
I want to reach-the-weak with my words, good will's in each-of-my-genes//
It's obviously one of my mother's traits, I can't wait to see her face sleep-with-me//
While I don't quite know about my father, it doesn't seem too relevant//
Even thought I'm not familiar with my surroundings, I still feel intelligent//
I'll use it as a tool to help people and make the world a better-place//
Stay forever-graced, never-erase my beliefs and conform to become the next Leatherface//
Life seems rich and I'm dying-to-spend it positively, but my mom's crying-again//
I'm attempting to kiss her even though I can't see cuz I'm trying-to-mend//
Her feelings, I want the crying-to-end, I'm feeling pressure recline-on-my-head//
Are the doctors-ready? I hear talking around my mother, they got-her-steady//
I would have sworn she was asleep if I hadn't heard her voice-talk//
"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" "I have no other choice-doc"//
Wha was that 'spossed to mean? Oh I get it, he's just a lil' jealous//
He knows how great I can be so he's...OUCH! something poked my pelvis//
I guess the doctors are ready now, trying to get a grip wit their fingers//
It's kinda weird that at my stage I'm feeling anxious, sweat-starting-to-linger//
I know my heart-and-demeanor are gonna make me something special-in-life//
My mother used to tell me through her womb I'd change the world...I bet-she'll-be-right//
I'm feeling more poking toward my head, but it's not the feel of appendages//
Oh God, the doctors are controlling my mother's crying, cuz she's putting an-end-to-this//
The poking has turned into thrusts, the process is getting more violent//
I feel warm liquid over my eyelids, screaming inside, but the doctors hear silence//
I guess life on earth wasn't predestined for me, I became an angel-today//
I just can't believe my mother's womb became my own cradle-and-grave//
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Old 12-03-2003, 04:50 PM
#2

uppin in this sumbitch
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Old 12-04-2003, 03:14 AM
#3

If you hadn't jacked the whole idea from Nas it coulda been dope...what's next? A song about your best friend is a knife?

Just playin...shit was dope..kinda dark tho...and holla at me dog, let's diss those wack fucks who tryin' to start net beef...
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Old 12-04-2003, 05:58 AM
#4

this was real nice whirl...real sad too..

some real nice lines in there and you rapped from a 'fetus' ' perspective really well..

I would have sworn she was asleep if I hadn't heard her voice-talk//
"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" "I have no other choice-doc"//


^^nice..

The poking has turned into thrusts, the process is getting more violent//
I feel warm liquid over my eyelids, screaming inside, but the doctors hear silence//
I guess life on earth wasn't predestined for me, I became an angel-today//
I just can't believe my mother's womb became my own cradle-and-grave//


^^dope ending..although very ...

a real nice piece man.. imagery and deep vocab n thought processes... good shit..

pz
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Old 12-04-2003, 01:12 PM
#5

lmfao wtf Veng haha, thanks anyways

thanks too MCD, actually man if you can think of a verse to go along with this let me know because we need to get a collab going sometime
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Old 12-04-2003, 09:35 PM
#6

damn.. im liken this..

shit is all onpoint cant wait till its audio man...
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Old 12-05-2003, 05:53 AM
#7

i wish dat' woulda happened to me... hmmm... i wouldn't have to live this life... it's just not fair...
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Old 12-06-2003, 03:24 AM
#8

thanks mentol and ummmm D:? thanks I guess Mystery
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Old 12-06-2003, 08:16 AM
#9

yeah this was very

but tight.....

I would have sworn she was asleep if I hadn't heard her voice-talk//
"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" "I have no other choice-doc"//
Wha was that 'spossed to mean? Oh I get it, he's just a lil' jealous//
He knows how great I can be so he's...OUCH! something poked my pelvis//


this was my favourite part^^^

the multis were nice throughout.....nice work, ill be peeping the audio
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Old 12-07-2003, 08:30 PM
#10

thanks I'm gonna try to get the audio up before I goto boot camp in a few days, if not, lol expect it around march or something
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Old 12-07-2003, 08:38 PM
#11

That was AWESOME...it actually brought tears to my eyes...let us all know when it comes out! Goodluck in bootcamp
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Old 12-08-2003, 04:28 AM
#12

^^^aww, I was hoping for this kind of a response, I always do with any one of my story-telling tracks. Glad ya liked it and thanks again
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Old 12-09-2003, 04:49 PM
#13

uppin my chikidees!
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Old 12-09-2003, 07:14 PM
#14

THAT WAS GOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!
*Oh and the first thing wasn't a compliment.. but you're welcome*
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YOU JUST LOST THE GAME.
Quote:
"Doth Thou Desire 'The Power'?"
"Who are you?"
"I am 'Grahf', the 'Seeker of Power'... do you want ‘The Power’?"
"I've got power right here."
"You have fake power; i can give you real power....
I will give you 'The Power'."
"..."
"So Be It"
"My Fist Is ‘The Devine Breath’
Blossom Oh Fallen Seed
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Old 12-09-2003, 11:13 PM
#15

Jeez man yur slow! ^


Yo this was sad
I have ta' agree with Im_pissed

if i had a mic and cool edit i might give it a shot- but unfortunatly i dont
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