Inner Thoughts, feedback please

[XpLiCiT]

Leavin my enemies CHOKED, SMOKED, fucked up, and SOAKED in BLOOD //
You this this shits a JOKE? NOPE. It's like ya'll PROVOKED a FLOOD //
But I'm the one with my THROAT ROPED, and I'm DOPED in DRUGS //
Is there something I don't know, they say the only HOPE is LOVE //
Fuck that bullshit, it was in my GRASP, but I broke the love I ONCE HAD //
I thought that shit was supposed to LAST, but everything has GONE BAD //

Within one cry, life speeds by with NO LICENSE //
After one sigh, I'm free to fly and SHOW VIOLENCE //
Kill one guy, go up high, and break the LOW SILENCE //

I feel like I'm stranded and abandoned in an EXTENSIVE, VAST OCEAN //
I wish my damn life would progress in an AGGRESSIVE, FAST MOTION //
Yes, I hope that my life GRADUALLY ACCELERATES //
Its only hope cause actually, it SADLY DECELERATES //

Should I pause this shit and get CONSUMED in FLAMES //
Or should I unpause this shit and RESUME the GAME //
Should I EXHUME my NAME and STREWNED to SHAME //
Or should I forget the pain that I'm SOON to GAIN //

Should I live and set all that BULLSHIT ASIDE //
Or should I end it all and COMMIT SUICIDE //
What should I do tonight... Should I hang myself or USE a KNIFE //
Or should I overdose... fuck it, gimme a gun, I'm THROUGH with LIFE //

[XpLiCiT]

Leavin my enemies CHOKED, SMOKED, fucked up, and SOAKED in BLOOD //
You this this shits a JOKE? NOPE. It's like ya'll PROVOKED a FLOOD //
But I'm the one with my THROAT ROPED, and I'm DOPED in DRUGS //
Is there something I don't know, they say the only HOPE is LOVE //
Fuck that bullshit, it was in my GRASP, but I broke the love I ONCE HAD //
I thought that shit was supposed to LAST, but everything has GONE BAD //

Within one cry, life speeds by with NO LICENSE //
After one sigh, I'm free to fly and SHOW VIOLENCE //
Kill one guy, go up high, and break the LOW SILENCE //

I feel like I'm stranded and abandoned in an EXTENSIVE, VAST OCEAN //
I wish my damn life would progress in an AGGRESSIVE, FAST MOTION //
Yes, I hope that my life GRADUALLY ACCELERATES //
Its only hope cause actually, it SADLY DECELERATES //

Should I pause this shit and get CONSUMED in FLAMES //
Or should I unpause this shit and RESUME the GAME //
Should I EXHUME my NAME and STREWNED to SHAME //
Or should I forget the pain that I'm SOON to GAIN //

Should I live and set all that BULLSHIT ASIDE //
Or should I end it all and COMMIT SUICIDE //
What should I do tonight... Should I hang myself or USE a KNIFE //
Or should I overdose... fuck it, gimme a gun, I'm THROUGH with LIFE //

[AllAboutMe]

nice vocab and multi's , good image too in your rap, nice drop dawg keep it up

[AllAboutMe]

nice vocab and multi's , good image too in your rap, nice drop dawg keep it up

[EmCee ElTee]

soundin heavy, push it higher man

[EmCee ElTee]

soundin heavy, push it higher man

[MF Deskrete]

ONCE again I thought YOUR shit WAS pretty BORING.

YOU really NEED to U the ANTE homeboy.

PRESENT some TIGHTER shit.

I was really uninterested.

[MF Deskrete]

ONCE again I thought YOUR shit WAS pretty BORING.

YOU really NEED to U the ANTE homeboy.

PRESENT some TIGHTER shit.

I was really uninterested.

[XpLiCiT]

yo man... if you didnt notice, the only reason i use caps is to show the rhymes... and i just happen to do and its a habbit... and sorry if my shit seems boring to you... but im just starting this aight? so get off my dick... i barely doin this shit for like 2 weeks and you tellin me it was borin... at least tell me how i can make my shit better like the rest of the other people... damn... im sorry that i aint soo good like you are... and that i dont fullful your criteria... damn... well whatever...

[XpLiCiT]

yo man... if you didnt notice, the only reason i use caps is to show the rhymes... and i just happen to do and its a habbit... and sorry if my shit seems boring to you... but im just starting this aight? so get off my dick... i barely doin this shit for like 2 weeks and you tellin me it was borin... at least tell me how i can make my shit better like the rest of the other people... damn... im sorry that i aint soo good like you are... and that i dont fullful your criteria... damn... well whatever...

[MF Deskrete]

hahaha!

dude, if you can't take critique then sto rhyming now.

Just because you started rhyming doesn't mean you have to be terrible.

Have you ever listened to music before?

yeah, so why do you rhyme like you have no clue how put words together.

Take your dick comments and reverse it. How can I possibly be on your dick when I think your shit is boring?

Stop being so soft, and step your shit up.

the only advise I can give you is take time with your shit, master the art first.

if your not gonna step up then shut up.

don't write soemthing in 20 minutes and post it, take a couple hours and finalize the shit.

peace

[MF Deskrete]

hahaha!

dude, if you can't take critique then sto rhyming now.

Just because you started rhyming doesn't mean you have to be terrible.

Have you ever listened to music before?

yeah, so why do you rhyme like you have no clue how put words together.

Take your dick comments and reverse it. How can I possibly be on your dick when I think your shit is boring?

Stop being so soft, and step your shit up.

the only advise I can give you is take time with your shit, master the art first.

if your not gonna step up then shut up.

don't write soemthing in 20 minutes and post it, take a couple hours and finalize the shit.

peace

[EmCee ElTee]

yo yo XpliCiT i feel you dawg, been doin it for like a week myself.

haterz man, all you all fuckin haterz, respect is a key word up in here. I know we gotta earn it, but without respect there shouldnt be disrespect. What the fuck did we do to you.

[EmCee ElTee]

yo yo XpliCiT i feel you dawg, been doin it for like a week myself.

haterz man, all you all fuckin haterz, respect is a key word up in here. I know we gotta earn it, but without respect there shouldnt be disrespect. What the fuck did we do to you.