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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 12-26-2007, 04:00 PM
#16

Islam wise...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bernard
Eitherway, I am no fan of Islam (not that I have anything against it, but it's not for me). Separating males from females is a step backwards. Teaching them to behave responsibly is better
You have a point here.

Seperating males from females was hardly this strict 1400 years ago (i.e. at the beginning of Islam). It became more common as the Islamic empire grew, because in Islamic society at the time, women were divided into 2 classes: Free women and Slaves.

Slaves were mostly for entertaining men, they were singers, dancers, courtesans etc... They often mingled with men, they didn't cover their hair, and were more exposed to the outer society than "free" women.

On the other hand, "free" women hardly ever left their houses, because they were considered too "respectable". They were regarded as precious beings, and had to cover their hair, not to mingle with men, lower their voices if they ever had to talk to men etc...

So you see it's just a class trait that was common during a certain period in the Islamic world, and it is no longer the same, with the exception of a few countries.

Having said that, there is still of course a problem with male/female relationships in the Arab world, but as I explained in my previous post, it's mostly related to sex.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bernard
Those are bad examples. No one here wants the system of honor killings to keep promiscuity in check. All that does is victimize women while men get off free.
That has nothing to do with Islam. It's a society trait because of the concept of "tribe's honour" that has deep roots in the Arabic/ Middle eastern mentality. Islam tried to eliminate it (since it views it's message as "worldly"), but unfortunately it doesn't seem to be that easy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amber
I was talking about how they treat their females to have respect for themselves and not let any man touch them until they're married.
You have a point here, but that's mainly an Arab trait (again linked to the "tribe's honour") but it is also manifested in Islam, since pre-marital sex is illegal.

Personally (and that's just my personal opinion) I believe having respect for yourself is when you preserve yourself for the right one. It means not sleeping around or acting promiscuously. It just encompasses a lot ot things that aren't necessarily linked to marriage.
However, I still think that my personal code of "self respect" shouldn't be imposed on society as a whole because morals are relative, and if people don't mind degrading themselves, it's really their problem. Morals can't be enforced on people.

Quote:
In fact it's illegal to even be alone with a member of the opposite sex who wasn't your spouse or family.
That's an Islamic rule, however it is not really implemented in the Arab world (with the exception of a few fundementalist countries), and this rule had certain reasoning back at the times of the prophet, however times have changed, and I think it would be ridiculous to implement it today. (I am pro-Islamic modernization)

In fact, societies that do implement it, have suffered greatly, because separation has led to sexual deprivation which in turn has lead to a greater number of sexual offences.

Finally, I just want to make sure I clear a few things:

1) I wrote this entry to make sure people know that there is a difference between Islam (the faith) and Muslim countries (where mostly people act according to their culture rather than religion - Which was clear in my previous post)

2) I am a virgin myself, have never had a boyfriend, nor do I intend to do so at the moment, and I've always been anti pre-marital sex until just a few months ago. I still do not intend to have sex, or any form of sexual activity, before I engage in a serious committed relationship, because that's just what my morals order me to do. Having said that, I find myself in no position to judge others and their moral code.
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 12-30-2007, 12:28 AM
#17

Sluts need love too.
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 01-02-2008, 08:39 PM
#18

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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 01-02-2008, 11:59 PM
#19

Hah. I forgot this thread even existed.

Anyway, I think I am being quite misunderstood. I think that people should be able to choose who they have sex with and how many partners they have sex with, however I think they should also be prepared for any negative outcomes that may arise. I don't respect people who sleep with multiple partners without even being in committed relationships with them and they just do it because it's "fun," then they wonder why they end up with a disease or having a child with someone they don't know/like. Now if they do everything they can to protect themselves, then that's a different story. But I still do think that it is degrading to put yourself in that position and to sleep with people to get them to like you. I see that happen so much since I live in America and females are generally treated as sexual objects and there is a prejudice that men won't like us unless we're pretty or we sleep with them, etc.

I know that you can't control other people's sexuality and I agree that making laws against people's sexual freedoms is quite harsh, but I do think that there should be some more restrictions on sex since "education" just isn't cutting it.

I just never understood why some people can't control their sexual urges.
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 01-03-2008, 11:04 PM
#20

Quote:
Besides the economic factors, it is also a very emotional problem. A lot of men, at least in my opinion, have sex with various women because they're taught that it's okay to sleep with them and throw them away when the women aren't desirable anymore. We are treated as objects and are admired more for our looks and very little for our personalities. It is very degrading to know that I slept with somebody because they just thought I was 'hot' and never really cared for me at all. That unfortunately happens a lot. I never understood why people say that casual sex is 'good' and is 'fun', even though they're being taken advantage of and setting themselves up to get a disease or unwanted pregnancy. Even if it feels good physically, it certainly can't feel right emotionally.
Not everyone who sleeps around ends up knocked up or with an STD. A lot of times people are careful. I do get what your saying to a certain extent.. But I think the way you're saying it is just way harsh.. Even if you're right or wrong.. It's still harsh.

I had my fun when I was a teen, and I was always careful, never had sex without protection.. My parents taught me well, when it came to protecting ones self. I've had a total of 5 sexual partners.. 2 of them being one night stands type, the other 3, I was seeing one of the guys, I was best friends with the other guy since I was a child, and the other I ended up married to. Granted I guess that number isn't that high if you think about it. I have to admit that with one of the "ONS" I was digging him, and thought it was the same.. We hung out for about 3 weeks before I decided to do it.. and the next day it was poof, buh byes to me. Do I regret it, not anymore.. I have come to peace with that.. BUT.. at the time I was upset & pissed off. I then felt like I needed to please men.. I did give oral sex to 3 men during that period.. I couldn't even tell you why. I thought I was being "desired" and I felt "good" about myself or so I thought at the time. So urmm yeah, I do agree with you on this part. Not the pregnancy/abortion parts though.


Tia, I'm not ashamed to say that I am on public assistance. Sometimes you HAVE no choice but to go to that god awful place. I fucking cried when I was there. I felt like such a damn looser.. Yet, I've also learned I'm far from it. First off, some (not saying all here) parents have to go on welfare because of various reasons, one being that they NEED health benefits for their children.. Thus why I went. I was working a part-time job, which with over-time was really a full-time job, for more than 5 years. Guess what they didn't give me, heath coverage for my daughter. It wasn't offered that simple. Then of course there are other reasons too, If you can't make ends meet, what else are you going to do? Even with me & James working, we couldn't and still can't afford a place where I want to live. I don't want to leave my town, not because I love it.. actually I fucking hate this town.. BUT.. their school system is superb, rated one of the top five on Long Island. Thus making us stay at my parents house... thank God, it's big enough haha. Anyhow, back on track here... My husband has felony's against him, granted their all non violent & just robberies from when he was on drugs (yay almost one year sober for him!!) this makes it impossible to get a good job. Before he went all wacky and did the shit that got him locked up he had jobs lined up from the local union for Electricity (which is an amazing job), a job line up at the postal office, and other amazing jobs... BUT.. Now with his record he pissed all of them away. He can't get a good job. Not one that will allow us to dig ourselves out of the whole we're in. So yes, I'm on welfare, and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks or says about it.. because this is what I have to do, in order to get our heads above water for now. Do I like it? NO. Do I enjoy it? NO. Do I need it right now? YES.

I get what you're saying about some of the people on it.. I've seen it far to many times with my own eyes. I've seen the craziest shit when having to go to DSS. No joke! So I respect what you're saying on that part.. But just know it's not always the case with people on it.



Amber, My dear, Actually you DO HAVE TO PAY BACK EVERY SINGLE CENT that is given to you. If I won the lottery, or was left anything in a will, it would be taken from the government.. So that part you're dead wrong on, sorry.
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 01-03-2008, 11:05 PM
#21

One last thing... I hardly ever come here, so if it takes me like a month or so to reply back to you sorry ahead of time.
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 01-04-2008, 02:34 AM
#22

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aic713 View Post
Not everyone who sleeps around ends up knocked up or with an STD. A lot of times people are careful. I do get what your saying to a certain extent.. But I think the way you're saying it is just way harsh.. Even if you're right or wrong.. It's still harsh.
Yeah.. I've always had a problem with people who brag about how many people they've slept with, thinking that it makes them look cool and grown up when in fact it makes them look like a nasty whore. It's different though when people admit that they've made mistakes (God knows I have once or twice). I just truly think that those types of people are like a disease. I don't care if it sounds harsh or not because I know that's what a lot of people think but are just afraid to say it.

Quote:
Tia, I'm not ashamed to say that I am on public assistance. Sometimes you HAVE no choice but to go to that god awful place. I fucking cried when I was there. I felt like such a damn looser.. Yet, I've also learned I'm far from it. First off, some (not saying all here) parents have to go on welfare because of various reasons, one being that they NEED health benefits for their children.. Thus why I went. I was working a part-time job, which with over-time was really a full-time job, for more than 5 years. Guess what they didn't give me, heath coverage for my daughter. It wasn't offered that simple. Then of course there are other reasons too, If you can't make ends meet, what else are you going to do? Even with me & James working, we couldn't and still can't afford a place where I want to live. I don't want to leave my town, not because I love it.. actually I fucking hate this town.. BUT.. their school system is superb, rated one of the top five on Long Island. Thus making us stay at my parents house... thank God, it's big enough haha. Anyhow, back on track here... My husband has felony's against him, granted their all non violent & just robberies from when he was on drugs (yay almost one year sober for him!!) this makes it impossible to get a good job. Before he went all wacky and did the shit that got him locked up he had jobs lined up from the local union for Electricity (which is an amazing job), a job line up at the postal office, and other amazing jobs... BUT.. Now with his record he pissed all of them away. He can't get a good job. Not one that will allow us to dig ourselves out of the whole we're in. So yes, I'm on welfare, and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks or says about it.. because this is what I have to do, in order to get our heads above water for now. Do I like it? NO. Do I enjoy it? NO. Do I need it right now? YES.
Your situation is a little bit different and I actually have some sort of sympathy. However, I have only seen lazy people, drug addicts, and women who do nothing but stay pregnant nearly their entire child-bearing years live off of welfare just so they can scam the government out of money.

Oh, and I think it's odd when people work and receive government benefits. Basically, you're paying for your own benefits.. lol.

Quote:
Amber, My dear, Actually you DO HAVE TO PAY BACK EVERY SINGLE CENT that is given to you. If I won the lottery, or was left anything in a will, it would be taken from the government.. So that part you're dead wrong on, sorry.
I have actually never heard of that before. Show me where it says this. I have been told that when you are on government benefits like welfare and SSI that you don't have to pay it back and instead you keep the money and they help you find jobs.
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 01-04-2008, 10:55 AM
#23

Quote:
Originally Posted by amber View Post
Yeah.. I've always had a problem with people who brag about how many people they've slept with, thinking that it makes them look cool and grown up when in fact it makes them look like a nasty whore. It's different though when people admit that they've made mistakes (God knows I have once or twice). I just truly think that those types of people are like a disease. I don't care if it sounds harsh or not because I know that's what a lot of people think but are just afraid to say it.



Your situation is a little bit different and I actually have some sort of sympathy. However, I have only seen lazy people, drug addicts, and women who do nothing but stay pregnant nearly their entire child-bearing years live off of welfare just so they can scam the government out of money.

Oh, and I think it's odd when people work and receive government benefits. Basically, you're paying for your own benefits.. lol.



I have actually never heard of that before. Show me where it says this. I have been told that when you are on government benefits like welfare and SSI that you don't have to pay it back and instead you keep the money and they help you find jobs.
^I don't have to show it, I know it for a fact.. Yes, a FACT. My sister was on it for a bit of time & once her husband got a good job, came the letter saying they want her to pay back more than $30,000. I wouldn't say that if I didn't know it to be a fact. I also know because my Aunt (she's a looong story), but she was on all sorts of benifits, because she really is a fucking wack job, my Grandma and Grandpa, could only leave her a dollar in their will because otherwise the State of NY would have seized it. Not to mention my Mother-in-law, was also advised my her attorney to put ours (my husband & I) in Alexis' name, because otherwise it would be siezed by the state. So again I know it for a *fact* not some made up thing I just said.

I'm not going to reply to the rest, right now because I have things to get on... If you don't believe me though please feel free to call an attorney.
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 01-04-2008, 12:10 PM
#24

Quote:
Originally Posted by amber View Post
Yeah.. I've always had a problem with people who brag about how many people they've slept with, thinking that it makes them look cool and grown up when in fact it makes them look like a nasty whore. It's different though when people admit that they've made mistakes (God knows I have once or twice). I just truly think that those types of people are like a disease. I don't care if it sounds harsh or not because I know that's what a lot of people think but are just afraid to say it.



Your situation is a little bit different and I actually have some sort of sympathy. However, I have only seen lazy people, drug addicts, and women who do nothing but stay pregnant nearly their entire child-bearing years live off of welfare just so they can scam the government out of money.

Oh, and I think it's odd when people work and receive government benefits. Basically, you're paying for your own benefits.. lol.



I have actually never heard of that before. Show me where it says this. I have been told that when you are on government benefits like welfare and SSI that you don't have to pay it back and instead you keep the money and they help you find jobs.

In my husband's case, it's a different story. He can't work. Is he able to work under the table, yes he can. He does off the book work.. But that's all he's able to do.. and it has nothing to do with welfare. It's simply because he fucked up before. It sucks up one side & down the other. On the other hand, in an odd way i'm glad this all happened, because it's partly what allowed him to get off all the drugs & finally be a Father & Husband, for that i'm thankful.

I agree with you to an extent about some people that are on welfare, are just sitting around on their ass doing nothing.. and popping out kid after kid. I just see it from a different angle I guess. My sister was on welfare, They threw her off when her husband got an amazing job. Naturally & I agree with it. The main problem that is still a major issue is that her children now don't have health insurance. When they get sick she's screwed. His job, as so many in America now, doesn't offer insurance for them or my sister. So she's screwed as are her kids if they get sick. That's why so many people end up on medicaid/welfare. Now did my sister sit around popping kids out.. In a way, she did. I mean I have three nieces, 4 years old (in FEB), 1 year old (in JAN) & 2 1/2 years old. She was on public ass. throughout them... Does/Did she sit around at home with her kids, Of course she did. She doesn't have the money to hire a nanny to care for them.. So until they reach the age where she doesn't have to watch them 24/7, she can get a job and move foward.. Until then, She has her husband who supports them.

I guess it just upsets me when people think they know or understand certain things, when in truth they don't. It's like the song says by "depeche mode" Try walking in my shoes, you'll stumble in my footsteps.

This is NOT NOT NOT to say that everyone is the same on welfare... Like I said, I've seen some crazy ass shit at that horrid place. I mean really knock your socks off type. It's nuts. So naturally I agree with you to an extent. I mean if you're a crack-head & having crack babies... You shouldn't be allowed to be on welfare. There are SO many reasons why certain people/mothers shouldn't recieve welfare.... But that's the system. They get the welfare, and the rest of us have to dredge just to keep our heads above water. It's truly sad

Btw, I totally love debateing with you, Amber!! Seriously, you're one of my top people to debate with... and Lord knows I love a GOOOOOD debate.. Not one with moronic people whom are... errrmmmm... MORONS haha
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 04-14-2008, 07:40 AM
#25

they usually come in pairs

and the wanna bes talk about it like it's bad to see if there's some acceptance left for them if ever they venture that way
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 11-21-2008, 05:07 PM
#26

This is kinda a stupid topic, your not the one that is sleeping around so it should be none of your buisness what other people do you should just worry about yourself. Many people do have sex before they are married and each generation is getting more and more experienced. There is nothing anyone can do.
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Old Re: People who sleep around @ 12-22-2009, 02:29 PM
#28

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Now did my sister sit around popping kids out.. In a way, she did. I mean I have three nieces, 4 years old (in FEB), 1 year old (in JAN) & 2 1/2 years old. She was on public ass. throughout them... Does/Did she sit around at home with her kids, Of course she did. She doesn't have the money to hire a nanny to care for them.. So until they reach the age where she doesn't have to watch them 24/7, she can get a job and move foward.. Until then, She has her husband who supports them.
I still think that people who can't afford to have kids shouldn't have them for this reason. And not having money to hire a nanny is no excuse. There are jobs out there where you can work from the home. And if she has a husband/boyfriend/someone who helps support her and he works day shifts, I'm sure that when he comes home he can take care of the kids and she could work some night shifts. Just saying... there are lots of ways that she and other welfare mothers could help support herself and kids without depending on the state.

But I totally agree with you about the insurance thing. Our healthcare system is so fucked up and expensive that I can see how some people are forced to go through welfare just to get it. I'm not on welfare but I do get free health insurance because when I was working I could not make enough to pay for my own health insurance, and I don't see anything wrong with Medicaid for three reasons: 1.) I paid into it with my tax dollars, 2.) Cannot afford private insurance being that I'm a starving college student, and 3.) I have a lot of medical problems ATM and I NEED it right now. I'm all for public health insurance when 40 million people in this country cannot afford their own health care and should be entitled to free or low-cost care.

Oh, and you don't have to pay back welfare since it is free money given to you by the state. If you have to pay it back then the state determined that you should not have had it given to you in the first place because you make too much money and have committed fraud. Also, I have just found out that if the person who got you pregnant has not made child support payments for a while and after some time starts to pay the child support, welfare will deduct money out of your benefits to make up for the money that they lost by supporting your child when the father was supposed to have made payments. Those are the only times you have to pay back welfare.
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