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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-29-2009, 07:29 PM
#16

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Originally Posted by g0d View Post
^ Damn, usually when I just get a dub I force myself to make it last an entire day. But when I get like a quad that shit is gone in a matter of hours, I don't get my habits.
Lmao well I know what you mean cuz when I have a dub I won't smoke as much as if I had an ounce. Last summer I bought two ounces and was just smoking crazy haha my life was on pause for like 2 weeks till it was gone lmfao.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-29-2009, 07:53 PM
#17

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Lmao well I know what you mean cuz when I have a dub I won't smoke as much as if I had an ounce. Last summer I bought two ounces and was just smoking crazy haha my life was on pause for like 2 weeks till it was gone lmfao.

yeah that's probably what it is. when i get decent amounts like a quad the first thing i do is roll up a good 1.3 - 1.5 bleezy, and probably another one an hour later and so on . . . .
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-29-2009, 07:57 PM
#18

That's probably your problem to since joints and blunts need a lot more bud then a pipe or bong does. Plus joints in my opinion don't get you as high.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-30-2009, 01:43 AM
#19

I never roll joints. Only blunt wraps. I like to get the taste of the tobacco leaves including the weed inside. Joints taste funny and burn too quick in my opinion.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-30-2009, 07:41 PM
#20

Yeah^ Blunts are nice. I like the Cyclones kuz even if there smaller then regular blunts you can pack serious shit in it. I packed around 3.5 once it was more compact then a cigarette.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-30-2009, 09:44 PM
#21

Well, I have no say in this... I only drink and that is mostly just beer, aftershock and vodka sooo whatever!!!
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-30-2009, 09:47 PM
#22

Then why the fuck did you post cheese dick?
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-31-2009, 12:56 PM
#23

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Well, I have no say in this... I only drink and that is mostly just beer, aftershock and vodka sooo whatever!!!
Aftershock is maybe one of the most disgusting bottles I have ever drank. I jacked it and wasn't able to drink it. I still got it almost all the way full. Lol just horrible. Tried mix drinking it and everything. I would rather drink 5 gallons of Crown Royal then have two shots of that nasty ass crap.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-31-2009, 01:22 PM
#24

^ Omg I fucking hate liquor. I can only drink liquor when I am already drunk.

My favorite beer has to be Joose, the energy drink kind. It has twice the amount of alcohol in a regular beer, and it's malt liquor so it fucks you up quicker.

Two tall cans of Joose and I'm buzzing hard. Three and I'm drunk. 4 and I'm wasted.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-31-2009, 04:25 PM
#25

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Originally Posted by g0d View Post
I've talked to my friends about quitting and there only response seems to be: "Talk to me in a week when you're using again haha"
Isn't that the worst man? Since 2001 I've battled my opioid addiction. I would try to quit, over and over, but I couldn't because my "friends" wouldn't let me. I would get a few days into it, and the phone would start ringing non stop with drug offers. I swear, when I was on them, I couldn't find pills to save my life. Yet when I tried to quit they were everywhere, for ten times as cheap, or even free. When your dopesick as fuck and someone is trying to give you free pills it's almost impossible not to indulge.

So in september I got myself on suboxone. Which isn't really being sober, but it takes you out of that life. Once I was on it I realized that all these assholes are just fucking zeros that aren't going anywhere in life, and they want me to go there with them. Thank god I don't have to deal with chumps like that anymore, but there is no sub for weed.

And I hear you on the weed tip too. I don't smoke crazy like you, but I smoke at least twice a day. I want to quit cause it zaps my energy, and I'm useless when I'm high. I get severly anxious and even suicidal when I try to quit, so I'm working with my dr to get the right medication for those problems so I can quit.

It's tough, because there are no dramatic consquences to weed like there are with hard drugs and even alcohol, so it's hard to feel that urgency that motivates you to quit. I wish you all the luck in the world though, cause if your pansy ass can do it then I know I can.

My life is resting on your shoulders.........dick. lol.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-31-2009, 05:44 PM
#26

^ LOL

Well I wish we were friends in real life. If I had a friend that would try to be sober with me; I think it would be a bit easier. But yeah, I can't tell you how many text messages I have that solely consist of: "Dude where you at I got a fatty L right now". So much that it is nauseating to think that if I even step foot out my door there will be a marijuana plantation in front of me with a 6 pack of beer next to it.

So I ignore those calls and TXT's and continue on with my day. It gets hard because a lot of my friends have been with me since Day 1 (kindergarten), so it's a whole life I'm leaving behind, not just a life-style.

I don't know much about suboxone but I assume it's similar to methadone?

Anyways, I wish you luck as well Tyke. And I like what you said about them being zero's, it's just a shame they don't see it that way as well.

*And i've been clean for 6 days now Tyke*

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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-31-2009, 06:49 PM
#27

I used to try and save a lot of my friends, show them theres a whole wonderful world out there, not just drugs, drinks, sluts, and gangster rap. It was hopeless. Well I think I might've helped one, but his situation has gotten so bad that I don't know if he can do it. I'm from a small town, and it's just like an inner city ghetto, it's hard to escape. And forget about staying clean cause your vice is every where. I have hope for him, he did just go through rehab, but he has two small kids, a crazy family, endless criminal charges, and no job, no education, and no transportation. And to find work you have to drive at least ten miles. I just hope he means what he's been saying to me.

As for suboxone, it's function is the same as methadone, but it works differantly. I think meth get's you high, and you can still use other shit after taking it. Suboxone doesnt get you high, but there is a buzz. And It takes almost a month before any other opiates will have an effect on me. Which is great because pills aren't an option anymore. On methadone you have to go to the clinic EVERY DAY, early in the morning. If you get there late your fucked till tomorrow, and it's too easy to justify using just to not feel sick in that situation. With sub I go to my psyche dr once a month, get a thirty day supply, which insurance pays for. I dunno about the tapering process, I start next month but I hear it's a lot less harsh than meth, but the withdrawls last longer. However there is a drug "recipe" that can make it a lot easier. I look forward to the day I am completely opioid free, but I'd much rather be strait than rush it, and my dr agrees.

And if your 6 days clean you got it, but remember now that your past the worst, it's that sneaky ass, tricky voice in your head that will be with you for at least a year, that's going to tell you just once is ok. Just once is the rest of your life, say that to yourself every time that voice trys to fool you. I fucking hate that voice man... It's the devil. And remember you're g0d, you can beat him.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-31-2009, 07:39 PM
#28

^ Oh my god, I deal with that voice every day. This morning when I was in the shower that fucking voice kicked in with its typical bullshit. Whenever I get that weird conversation with the sober part of yourself against the addict in yourself I just go for a long ass walk or a short jog to take my mind off things.

Excersice usually works great. As for you, I feel fucking horrible that your DOC is of all things Opiates. Terrible thing to get involved in, and I imagine it's just as terrible leaving it behind. As for a few cocaine binges in my day my main DOC's are marijuana and alcohol. And on top of it I have an addictive personality, I like to take things to the extreme. If I am usuing I use to the point where it is unsafe, if I am working out I do it to the point my legs literally can't move anymore (which I just did last night).

So for me it's going to the extreme that kills me. My brains balance between 'moderation' and 'excess' isn't as black and white as it seems. For me moderation almost seems impossible. But I just have to work at it.

As for your friend, I can relate to him as well. As a juvenile I had a wrap sheet thicker than the Bible. But due to some stints in Rehab's the Judge miraculously wiped that shit off my record by sucessfully completing those rehabs.

And another big factor in my desire to be sober is my girlfriend. She wants a good life and she wants to have kids some day, as do I. I cannot be some drunk pothead raising children, that would be fucked up for them. My mom put me through the same shit, and I resent her for that; but I'd only be a hypocrit if I did the same shit to my kids.

I don't know what I can say for you Tyke, but you sure as hell are taking the right steps. You and I at least realize our problems, which is half the battle. Keep seeing your doctor man, shit'll get better. I can say I feel for you but I can't understand as I've never dealt with opiates before, my DOC back in the day was meth but I've been clean from that for years; only to subsitute it with more drugs though.

If you ever need to talk just PM me or something. I actually like having these conversations, it kind of keeps me thinking about it which is what *we* need.
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-31-2009, 07:40 PM
#29

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Isn't that the worst man? Since 2001 I've battled my opioid addiction. I would try to quit, over and over, but I couldn't because my "friends" wouldn't let me. I would get a few days into it, and the phone would start ringing non stop with drug offers. I swear, when I was on them, I couldn't find pills to save my life. Yet when I tried to quit they were everywhere, for ten times as cheap, or even free. When your dopesick as fuck and someone is trying to give you free pills it's almost impossible not to indulge.

So in september I got myself on suboxone. Which isn't really being sober, but it takes you out of that life. Once I was on it I realized that all these assholes are just fucking zeros that aren't going anywhere in life, and they want me to go there with them. Thank god I don't have to deal with chumps like that anymore, but there is no sub for weed.

And I hear you on the weed tip too. I don't smoke crazy like you, but I smoke at least twice a day. I want to quit cause it zaps my energy, and I'm useless when I'm high. I get severly anxious and even suicidal when I try to quit, so I'm working with my dr to get the right medication for those problems so I can quit.

It's tough, because there are no dramatic consquences to weed like there are with hard drugs and even alcohol, so it's hard to feel that urgency that motivates you to quit. I wish you all the luck in the world though, cause if your pansy ass can do it then I know I can.

My life is resting on your shoulders.........dick. lol.

i feel for you i still get calls everyday askin if i want pills once you say no the first few times it gets easier but the people who ask me arent REAL friends all my real friends want me off pills as much or more than i want it so those people arent real friends maybe you should consider gettin new ones if they actually cared for you they wouldnt be trying to fuck yo progress up
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Old Re: 100% Sober @ 05-31-2009, 08:31 PM
#30

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Originally Posted by g0d View Post
^ Oh my god, I deal with that voice every day. This morning when I was in the shower that fucking voice kicked in with its typical bullshit. Whenever I get that weird conversation with the sober part of yourself against the addict in yourself I just go for a long ass walk or a short jog to take my mind off things.

Excersice usually works great. As for you, I feel fucking horrible that your DOC is of all things Opiates. Terrible thing to get involved in, and I imagine it's just as terrible leaving it behind. As for a few cocaine binges in my day my main DOC's are marijuana and alcohol. And on top of it I have an addictive personality, I like to take things to the extreme. If I am usuing I use to the point where it is unsafe, if I am working out I do it to the point my legs literally can't move anymore (which I just did last night).

So for me it's going to the extreme that kills me. My brains balance between 'moderation' and 'excess' isn't as black and white as it seems. For me moderation almost seems impossible. But I just have to work at it.

As for your friend, I can relate to him as well. As a juvenile I had a wrap sheet thicker than the Bible. But due to some stints in Rehab's the Judge miraculously wiped that shit off my record by sucessfully completing those rehabs.

And another big factor in my desire to be sober is my girlfriend. She wants a good life and she wants to have kids some day, as do I. I cannot be some drunk pothead raising children, that would be fucked up for them. My mom put me through the same shit, and I resent her for that; but I'd only be a hypocrit if I did the same shit to my kids.

I don't know what I can say for you Tyke, but you sure as hell are taking the right steps. You and I at least realize our problems, which is half the battle. Keep seeing your doctor man, shit'll get better. I can say I feel for you but I can't understand as I've never dealt with opiates before, my DOC back in the day was meth but I've been clean from that for years; only to subsitute it with more drugs though.

If you ever need to talk just PM me or something. I actually like having these conversations, it kind of keeps me thinking about it which is what *we* need.
I like going for walks, but right now in phoenix it's like 105, and I can't stand the heat. It sucks cause when I was in rehab I exercised and lost all kids of weight, but once I got out I lost all motivation for it and I've never got it back. I've got add pretty bad, and it wrecks my life. I never do anything because I have a compulsion that tells me to do something else. It soudsweird but unless I have extreme pressure I can't do anything. I've finally began treating it, and depression and social anxeity. I just can't wait till I'm finally able to function like a normal adult.

I've never really taken things to extremes. I've always been very conservative when it comes to drugs, for the most part. I've had many fucked up moments, but I was always paranoid about shit. That's why it sucks I found myself hopelessly addicted. Painkillers, like heroin are horrific. It's a runaway train that you don't even see coming until it's too late. Just one day you open your eyes and your completely fucked. Once you are a junkie it's insane. For me, if I could at least get high once a day I could be relatively comfertable. If I woke up one morning and didn't have pills hell imediately ensued. Right away you feel horrible, sweaty, anxious, headaches, nausia, and cramps. After an hour or so the diarreah starts, if you don't have immodium your life sucks. You feel this intense dread, like your afraifd your going to get 50 lashes from a nine tail. Eventually you get hungy, but you can't eat, almost like meth but you want to throw up bad. Then you start puking nonstop. I always liked to have gatoraide, jerky, some hard candy, and popsicles. Then come night you can't sleep, at all. your lucky to doze off for an hour. And it gets worse for the next few days. At day three, your insane, you want to kill yourself cause it feels like it will never stop. Thats when you use And honestly it never does stop. I was clean for four months in rehab, and I used after two weeks of getting out cause I still felt like shit, plus my mom was just about to die, which she did, three weeks after rehab.

But I've never stopped trying, I've never been content to be a loser, and when I get my head right I'm going to be kicking some major ass. I can feel better things for me someday, it just might take longer than most people. Judging by your obvious intellgence you'll make it too.

Just don't start getting all gayfag on me you queer. Saying "we" and shit. Sayin you Like our conversations. I never took you for a bleeding pussy, but I guess I was mistaken. Go stick a monkey wrench in your asshole homo boy...

Kidding of course.


And yeah hit me up my aim and yahoo im is tykecmw peace dude.
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