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Old Top Ten Things.... @ 01-01-2006, 11:55 AM
#1

TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY IN GOLF BUT AREN'T

10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.

9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.

8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.

7. Look at the size of his putter.

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

5. Mind if I join your threesome?

4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.

3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.

2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.

1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-01-2006, 11:57 AM
#2

Top Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked...

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"

2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

10. No one steals your chair
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-01-2006, 11:59 AM
#3

Top Ten Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly is Unzipped...

1. The cucumber has left the salad.

2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.

3. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.

4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

5. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

6. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

7. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary".

8. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

9. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

10. Men are From Mars, women can see Your Penis
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-01-2006, 12:00 PM
#4

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't

10. Have you looked through her briefs?

9. He's one hard judge!

8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.

7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.

6. Is it a penal offense?

5. Better leave the handcuffs on.

4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!

3. Can you get him to drop his suit?

2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

1. Think you can get me off?
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-01-2006, 12:00 PM
#5

TOP TEN LIST OF PUT DOWNS TO MEN

1. Please don't talk to my breasts. You won't be meeting them.

2. If you want to control someone, sleep with your remote.

3. I always choose chocolate over men. ALWAYS

4. 51% love goddess...49% bitch. Care to push your luck?

5. My sexual preference is NO

6. My body is my temple, now get on your knees and pray.

7. It's not the size that counts, it's...no, wait, size does count.

8. Remember men, girls are made of sugar, spice and everything nice.

9. Men are like hardwood floors, lay them right the first time and you
can walk all over them forever.

10. Save your breath for you inflatable date.
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-01-2006, 02:36 PM
#6

Lmao...cool
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-13-2006, 01:18 AM
#7

lol....I like the going to work naked ones..
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-16-2006, 08:37 PM
#8

LMFAO they are all brilliant!

Hahah @ 2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
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If I could capture the rage of today's youth and bottle it
Crush the glass from my bare hands and swallow it
Then spit it back in the faces of you racists
and hypocrites who think the same shit but don't say shit
You Liberace's, Versace's, and you nazis
Watch me, cause you thinkin you got me in this hot seat
You motherfuckers wanna JUDGE me cause you're NOT me
You'll never STOP me, I'm TOP speed as you POP me
I came to save these new generations of babies
from parents who failed to raise 'em cause they're lazy
to grow to praise me I'm makin 'em go crazy
That's how I got this whole nation to embrace me
And you fugazi if you think I'ma admit wrong
I cripple any hypocritic critic I'm sic'd on
And this song is for any kid who gets picked on
A sick song to retaliate to, and it's called..
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-21-2006, 06:55 PM
#9

lol cute
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-22-2006, 03:18 AM
#10

hahahahaa all that was funny as hell..

6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.

HAHAHAHA
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 01-22-2006, 10:17 AM
#11

1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.


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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 03-13-2006, 11:03 AM
#12

1 Hold Up I Need To Wash My Balls First
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 03-13-2006, 05:05 PM
#13

LMAO @ #1


HAHAHAHAAHHAAH... wash my balls...
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Old Re: Top Ten Things.... @ 03-17-2006, 10:50 AM
#14

lmao good ones
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