eminem web left web right
bar right
headlinesbar right footer






Go Back   Eminem Web Board > Main > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-11-2005, 07:46 PM
#1

Joke Of The Day: September 11, 2005

A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. "Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?" she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, "Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?"
Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, "I know how to make them larger!"
"How!?!?!?" she asks.
"Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs."
"Well how long does it take?" she asks.
"They should expand over the years", he answers.
"How did you know that?" she wonders.
"I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?"
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
Laayla
Realist
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,209
EW Cash: 577.50
Rep Power: 0
Laayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem WebLaayla owns Eminem Web

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-12-2005, 05:17 PM
#2

BURN! lol.. nice one.
  Laayla is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
pepperdaconvict
Registered User
 
pepperdaconvict's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: the hood
Age: 44
Posts: 781
EW Cash: 1300.00
Rep Power: 210
pepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond repute

Send a message via Yahoo to pepperdaconvict
Smoke Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-12-2005, 05:17 PM
#3





pepperdaconvict
__________________

******************************************
I told you this would happen...

Fuck You!
******************************************

There is always a reason!
  pepperdaconvict is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
The Overlord
Banned
 
The Overlord's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: In my Kingdom
Age: 39
Posts: 25
EW Cash: 35.00
Rep Power: 0
The Overlord has tight gameThe Overlord has tight game

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-13-2005, 01:00 AM
#4

Holy fuck. That was funny.
  The Overlord is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-13-2005, 12:07 PM
#5

Joke Of The Day: September 12, 2005

It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals. At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him. "Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "it's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat! What's up with that I wonder!" The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife. We went to the games together." "Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously. "She passed away," said the gentleman. "Oh, I'm sorry, You could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man. Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No they're all at the funeral."
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-13-2005, 12:14 PM
#6

Joke Of The Day: September 13, 2005

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck."

So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe."

So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."

So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
pepperdaconvict
Registered User
 
pepperdaconvict's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: the hood
Age: 44
Posts: 781
EW Cash: 1300.00
Rep Power: 210
pepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond reputepepperdaconvict has a reputation beyond repute

Send a message via Yahoo to pepperdaconvict
Smoke Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-13-2005, 12:22 PM
#7

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Cena
Joke Of The Day: September 12, 2005

It's the 7th game of the Stanley Cup Finals. At the beginning of the game, a guy sits down in his seat and notices an empty seat and another gentleman next to him. "Can you believe it?" the man says to the gentleman, "it's game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals and there is actually an empty seat! What's up with that I wonder!" The gentleman speaks up and says, "Well, you see the seat belonged to my wife. We went to the games together." "Where is your wife? The man asks cautiously. "She passed away," said the gentleman. "Oh, I'm sorry, You could not get anyone else to come to the game with you?" said the man. Said the gentleman with a slight smirk "No they're all at the funeral."





pepperdaconvict
__________________

******************************************
I told you this would happen...

Fuck You!
******************************************

There is always a reason!
  pepperdaconvict is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-13-2005, 09:23 PM
#8

Joke Of The Day: September 14, 2005

Three Labrador retrievers - a brown, yellow and black - are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation. The black lab turns to the brown lab and says, "So why are you here?" The brown lab replies, "I'm a pisser, I piss on everything - the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." The black lab says, "So what is the vet going to do?" "Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the brown lab. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything," He then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you here?" The yellow lab says, "I'm a digger, I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch." "So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab inquired. "Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected yellow lab said. The yellow lab then turns to the black lab and asks what he's at the vet's office for. "I'm a humper," the black lab says, "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want too hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes and I couldn't help myself, I hopped on her back and started humping away. The yellow and brown labs exchange a sad glance and say, "So, Prozac for you too, huh?" The black lab says, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-15-2005, 08:14 PM
#9

Joke Of The Day: September 15, 2005

A guy was taking a new bus route for the first time. He sat down and watched as a woman got on the bus. When the driver looked at her, she took her right hand and put her thumb on her forehead and waved her fingers at the driver. The driver then took both of his hands and put the thumb of his right hand on his forehead and the thumb of his left hand on his right hand and he waved all of his fingers at the woman. The woman then took her right arm, extended it, and ran her left hand up her arm. The driver, in response, extended his right arm and ran his left hand down his arm. The lady then proceeded to grab her right breast. The driver reached down and grabbed his crotch. The lady turned away from the driver, grabbed her butt and got off the bus. The man was amazed at this. When he got to his stop, he asked the driver about the lady. "What did that lady and you say to each other a couple of stops back?" he asked. The driver replied, "Oh, the deaf woman? It's very simple. I told her that the fare was 10 cents. She asked if I was going uptown. I told her that I was going downtown. She then asked me if I was going by the dairy. I said that I was going by the ballpark. She replied, 'Oh, shit! I'm on the wrong bus!'"
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
Fuck Up Fairy
♪ METAL TO THE CORE ♪
 
Fuck Up Fairy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Age: 31
Posts: 6,294
EW Cash: 570.01
Rep Power: 340
Fuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem WebFuck Up Fairy owns Eminem Web

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-16-2005, 08:35 AM
#10

hahaha nice......*grabs steve balls* got the message??
__________________
  Fuck Up Fairy is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-16-2005, 11:04 AM
#11

WOAH!
Let's not get to frisky now babydoll.
Let's save some of that for behind closed doors.
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-16-2005, 04:33 PM
#12

Joke Of The Day: September 16, 2005

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her.

He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help." He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.

She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."

"No, I wouldn't," he said.

She said, "I sell tampons."

With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.

She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!"
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
cyber_rapper
Tha Master Cyber Rapper
 
cyber_rapper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: east molline, illinois
Posts: 290
EW Cash: 90.00
Rep Power: 192
cyber_rapper is a glorious beacon of lightcyber_rapper is a glorious beacon of lightcyber_rapper is a glorious beacon of lightcyber_rapper is a glorious beacon of lightcyber_rapper is a glorious beacon of light

Send a message via Yahoo to cyber_rapper
Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-16-2005, 04:52 PM
#13

HAHA

dont be surprised if this post lags u
  cyber_rapper is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-18-2005, 01:20 PM
#14

Joke Of the Day: September 17, 2005

It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:

"Ames" "Here!" "Jenson" "Here!" "Jones" "Here!" "Magersky" "Here!" "Seeback"

No answer.

"Seeback!"

No answer was heard again.

"SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent.

At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
John Cena
Banned
 
John Cena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Live In Kentucky! Work In Indiana!
Age: 43
Posts: 1,183
EW Cash: 683.00
Rep Power: 0
John Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to allJohn Cena is a name known to all

Old Re: Joke Of The Day Strikes Back @ 09-18-2005, 01:22 PM
#15

Joke Of The Day: September 18, 2005

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged that they had for the past five years covertly funded a project with US auto makers whereby the auto makers installed black boxes in four wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!" Only the states of West Virginia, Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, and Tennessee were different, where over 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer and watch this."
  John Cena is offline   AddThis Social Bookmark Button     Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I'm Back((analyzing my alter)) Dirty Hazey Bust a Rhyme 4 11-17-2005 01:22 AM
Sit Back pepperdaconvict Poetry Corner 3 08-04-2005 08:29 AM
well, I'm back Crazee General Discussion 47 05-09-2003 04:39 PM
Holding Me Back.....rock ode to stupid bitches Cain Bust a Rhyme 4 01-20-2003 01:29 AM
Why Em is Bad for Music Stirfry Eminem 50 11-14-2002 12:43 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:58 PM.


right_block_header
Richest Members

1. Diatribe
2. Don Messenger
3. Aic713
4. Bankô
5. Crazee
6. Kari
7. Riddler
8. Stanatic
9. Denz
10. MCD
Eminem Web
left_block_header
Latest Discussions

left_block_footer
Designed by Kari & Denz.
Powered by Rap Worlds Technology & vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.