Damn I write-this, and no one makes a-diss/
Just a teach sittin ta-bitch, man hes flipped my-switch/
Takein out a-blade, everythings-made, standin in the-shade/
He wonders why I get-pissed, cuz every time he pops, he missed/
My rhymes seem inapropriate, fuck that jus-appreciate/
Im doin this in-stead, of fuckin puttin a cap in his-head, wishin the bitch was finally-dead, filled with-led, blood drippin from the sheets on his-bed/
He couldnt fuckin-see, I want to be an M-C/
Its my-dream, become a freestylist runnin up the-stream, double-team/
mayham comein' outa-words, bringin you ob-serds/ Droppin rhymes is like breathin', cuz the lil kid jus started teathin/
Shit you takin away my life, by takin awaywhat I write-and-kife, I take you out all night-and-trife, dont begin to sife, Im holdin a double-edged-knife/
Run cuz I got you-scared, I never fuckin-cared/
Put a cigerette out on your rottin carcase/ watch it blister, smolder, my style gettin colder/
Follow me, and you will see, mylife is cra-zy//

Feed back peeps.
What lines you like.
Help me uppin my level of skill.
PEACE!

This shit was O-K.

I've got a few suggestions for ya. I think you should focus on your multis, bar length, sytle...but you're doing good. Some of the lines don't make too much sense, thought the words rhyme. Maybe work on that too. I don't wanna sound like a bitch, but I'm just trying to help you. :-) peace.

This drop wasnt even close to bein good... I didnt like it too much myself.
Well I g2g Peace!