Don't be too brutal, my first verse lol.

My lyrics are mathematical, GEOMETRIC raps take SHAPE/
I rhyme CIRCLES around you, make you so dizzy that you faint/
TRIGONOMETRIC ethics, COS I know it's a SIN to burn you past a TAN/
ADD you to this hand'n slap you, your vision I SUBTRACT/
Wishin you could rap, but your whackness is a fact/
MULTIPLY your skill by a million, its still like an ant/
Your mamma musta took it up the ass and nine months later, heres this turd/
His verse is obSURD so i hurt him like he was a little girl/
DIVIDE you by nine with this knife, but enough with math - I'm bored/
Let's move on to your fat ass momma, did i mention shes a whore?/
If your shits raw, im cookin it like soup you slurp through a straw/
The only way you can eat shit after i break your jaw/
Climb a high diving board, try to back flip-but-you-back-flop/
I'll hit this bitch with a stick, break his hip-so-he-can't-hop/ (hip hop)
I can't stop, like a freight train - I'm fast/
I'd knock you out like Tyson, but I'm more a chainsaw fan/
Engrave my name in your cranium and leave ya brains-all-mashed/
Came back eight minutes later cuz i forgot to take-ya-cash/
Bitch you couldn't spit GOOD shit if you licked an ANGELS ass/

Feedback would be appreciated

peeaace

the disses and punches werent super great but it was still a nice drop, the vocab was real good except you held on to that math thing a little too long lol, but overal nice battle verse for your first specially.

Thanx man, appreciated. uppin fer more feedback

uppin...

:( @ this getting slept on

awwwww you all suck then lol. jus kidding but i would like some more feedback from anyone

overall..nice first drop..vocab was fair,flow was lil off,held on to the math thing waayy to long...but still,its pretty good for a first...

^^lol@people judging flow through text

Ummm this was ok but like AAM said, you really shoulda dropped that math thing, it was kinda corny. Also, you need more hardhitting punches whenever you battle someone instead of just telling them how yer gonna kick their ass and they ain't shit in a very basic manner, you should come with some original disses. Plus drop all that, you couldn't spit Good shit licking an angel's ass, those shit lines are kinda played, you gotta come up with something a lil more. Hah, sorry if this comes off a lil harsh but just take it as constructive criticism and hopefully you improve from it.

Thanx everyone, yeh thats cool whirlwind, constructive critisism is good