gonna turn it to audio

hook 2Xs
I cant feel this pain any more,
my life is about to drop an fucken blow//
i cant stand this mind any more,
my life is what i write an i dont see the light//(dont see the light)

i spew on papers all my deep dark feelings,
on how i really wanna kill this bitch//
then agian i feel the need to be loved,
but who knows we be friends after we part?//
im getting sick an tired of this,
runnin' after a chick wit mentol problems within//
an i'm not saying she's thinking about me,
but i'm thinking about her, but too blind to see//
that she dispise me, so i cutt my-self to bleed,
get rid of this pain, but i'm only covering it up//
rub some alcohol an get that sick buring lust,
that i love so much, but i'm really fucked//
cuz i had my chance an let go of it,
so i'm slowly falling into madness cuz of this//
if you look at mah' wrist you'd see the cutts that i did,
back when i was young an foolish about love//
i really thought she was the one, that would hold me up,
but i guess i was wrong, for falling in love//

hook 2x

it's strange that i dont see the light,
every single time that my life goes right//
but it's funny cuz i cant really decide,
on which side i should really resided//
cuz if i choose one it's gonna cost me some,
something like love,..off-set by lust//
there's always evil in me,
but lately evils has been taken everything//
of me so i'm blind an never see,
(really) if there is a God then why he hates me?//
I choose the path of this life-time or the next,
cant really defind what i'm feeling in-connect//
with out my soul attach, so i split an ran,
while never to look back, not even a glance//
running just to stare death for a laugh,
make friends in-case i have a last minute breath//
but many pains are still attach to my head,
like Erin,.. Amber,.. an my friend Jen//

hook 2X's

i really hate this pain, that i thought i slain
cant never figure if my life is just a game//
either way i'm out of tokens an credits,
game-over with this false stupid shit//
that i call reality but it's really stupidness,
it's a night-mare that last me 17 loong years//
death to me becomes close like buddies,
i try to go-overs it's house but it aint working//
so i start up this car, the engine is dead,
i tried to ride my bike, but the tire is flat//
every thing i try, something is holden me back,
so i slowly walk as if i was fat//
but in-fact i cant cuz i'm not dead,
[getting sgressive] i'm still alive an breathing//
every-day i'm seeing something positive,
in me like this rapping, i am an emcee//
now i could vent everything i'm breathin',
never to fore-shadow my death, just livin the present//

hook 2X's

audio soon

once again a nice deep rhyme

rhyming did seem a litte basic for u but some good wordplay and the deepness is always good

should flow almost perfect in audio if it goes the way i was reading

nice to see you drop a full rhyme

alright, here we go

I cant feel this pain any more,
my life is about to drop an fucken blow//
i cant stand this mind any more,
my life is what i write an i dont see the light//(dont see the light)
^^ hooks dope and goes ta beat real well....

im getting sick an tired of this,
runnin' after a chick wit mentol problems within//
an i'm not saying she's thinking about me,
but i'm thinking about her, but too blind to see//
^^ nice lines there man

that she dispise me, so i cutt my-self to bleed,
get rid of this pain, but i'm only covering it up//
rub some alcohol an get that sick buring lust,
that i love so much, but i'm really fucked//
cuz i had my chance an let go of it,
so i'm slowly falling into madness cuz of this//
^^ dopeness

if you look at mah' wrist you'd see the cutts that i did,
back when i was young an foolish about love//
i really thought she was the one, that would hold me up,
but i guess i was wrong, for falling in love//
^^ (*cries)

but lately evils has been taken everything//
of me so i'm blind an never see,
(really) if there is a God then why he hates me?//
^^ sick

so i split an ran,
while never to look back, not even a glance//
running just to stare death for a laugh,
make friends in-case i have a last minute breath//
but many pains are still attach to my head,
like Erin,.. Amber,.. an my friend Jen//
^^ deep

cant never figure if my life is just a game//
either way i'm out of tokens an credits,
game-over with this false stupid shit//
^^ ill little play there

death to me becomes close like buddies,
i try to go-overs it's house but it aint working//
so i start up this car, the engine is dead,
i tried to ride my bike, but the tire is flat//
every thing i try, something is holden me back,
^^ fucking "werd", dope

[getting sgressive] i'm still alive an breathing//
every-day i'm seeing something positive,
in me like this rapping, i am an emcee//
now i could vent everything i'm breathin',
never to fore-shadow my death, just livin the present//
^ would sound dope in audio

I read this ta tha beat man and thought it flowed prefectly. Should be DOPE in audio and i'm looking forward to it - i got high hopes for that last agressive bit. I got a Helm/One-mic thing in my head for that lol

I actually liked tha 3rd verse maybe tha best... lol - which you don't agree with :)....

Really deep which is what i envy you for on this 'cos i find it hard to write deep meaningful songs.. so big props ta ya
Vocab as good as always, and i really am looking forward to it in audio. Then i'll be able to give more feedback and delivery and all... tha lyrics are real good so if you hold up your end of tha bargain spitting-wise it should be er, (*word that means dope*).

I hope peeps take tha time out to read this and are actually able to catch ya flow for once (idiots hehe)...

UPPIN

PZ> dawg

yeah nice full rhyme mentol, the concept was real good and i think this be a good audio song. the first verse was really good and it keeps on the hole way through, thats some nice shit, keep it up

This was pretty good... Couldn't catch the flow too well at some parts but still a very good and emotional piece...

up