TEK5
Im a lyrikal cereal killer, you get snapped crackled and popped/
tackled and dropped, tied down and shackled and locked/
tha gat~will get cocked, lettin loose of fully loaded verbal clips/
murder your bitch and make her scream from tha words i spit/
tha verse i kick will leave you split in half like uh melon/
aint no tellin tha next MC that’ll be screamin and yellin/

Oblivion
Bleeding-and-smelling dead ten minutes 'fore he officially-finished /
Screw guns in ma arm ta slaughter so i artificially-diminish /
And spin-it and flip-it like fingers, killing townie dicks-spittin'-innit /
Don't need a month ta get M1 - just need six-friggin'-minutes /
Me and Tek are killers, make fags go cerebally-braindead /
I'm tha like tha weather ta you dicks - you seeing-me-rain-dead /
Hit rappers up 'til they vains-bled, pull a glock out my jacket /
At any motion of danger, got punches in bags cos i pack-it /
Rappers? Smack-it-and-fracture-and-smash-'em-and stash-'em like cannabis /
Killa B ya 'deals' like a broken-plane - you ain't ever landing-it /
My shit wears you down ta a broken chair - you ain't standing-this /
Outstanding-shit, manic-grips got me fucking handing-clips /

this was aiight......oblivions flow was a bit off and be honest...you boys dont have guns

^I remember you kicking a verse like "this guy sticks his dick in ya bitch"... Be honest.

I was feelin' Tek's verse... bars bordered on being long, but the rhymes were laid out tight and kept the flow... I agree with emcee1 though, oblivions flow was eh.

Thanks for the overwhelming number of responses...

And although i appreciate feedback when i get it - or if - i must say that i wrote this with a beat in my head (a new one emcee1) and both mine and Teks verse scanned nicely - thanks very much.

And its not all about bar length - i have written a verse for a cover of tha Bitch Please Two loop and its bars are longer than this by quite a bit but it works fine.

Thanks for any feedback anyways...

PZ>

yea this was nice drop i liked tek's verse better,..
flowed really good, nice multies there,..very good
ob-
flow went off and on like emcee 1 said and I LOVE THAT as-well
and yea the bar length was a lil long but o-well
nice drop prop's to both and to the replyers