I’m still trying to remain vicious, under certain conditions, An not act like you bitches, wack ass rappers, an snitches,
Just switching my style, never slipping, I’m vile,
To dial an spit out the shit you dish on da radio in single file,
Cuz I ain’t rapping bout packing clips,
Cuz its about a passion for stacking paper slips,
Ripping wit words till my cranium splits,
An flips da script on a bitch who’s spitting da shit,
That’s the same as the bitch he followed in suit with,
Its stupid, for me just to stoop to the level to do this,
But its foolish just to copy every word they spit kid,
Cuz every radio play list is the same shit,
Be different or you gon be bitched,
An kicked around like the new kid,
I knew diss, that’s why I do this, the way in which I do this,
Ta make hits an records an discs,
But yet still remain myself in the end of all this bullshit,



This is gonna be a verse on a song I'm working on, I think I'm gonna call it Radio Syphilis (Cuz the bullshits spreading like a disease)

Leave feed, I leave rep, don't sleep on dis people

its decent not to bad jus need help on flow multies punches an shit im mean u can rhyme but u need structure

it wasnt bad, but i think you should have a more complexed rhyme scheme
just keep working on it and try to make 'tidy' it up

Ok, I'd love to fix my structure, problem is I'm writing this way because I suppose I don't quite understand how its suppose to be, let me know.

PS: I gave you reep, an thnx

uppin

Peace (H)

ehh. better than any of my shit. :( :rofl:

Cool, keep bringing em

Ok, I'd love to fix my structure, problem is I'm writing this way because I suppose I don't quite understand how its suppose to be, let me know.

Just check out everyone elses structure in their drops..

That was decent, you've got talent that's for sure, it's just about fixing up little things now, get some multies and sick punches in and you've got it..

Alright, I'll work on it and some new verses for the song,
thnx

I’m still trying to remain vicious, under certain conditions,
An not act like you bitches, wack ass rappers, an snitches,

Take out "I'm still trying" cuz its wack. Take out "ass".

I remain vicious, under certain conditions,
An not act like u bitches, wack rappers, an snitches, (write it like this)



Just switching my style, never slipping, I’m vile,
To dial an spit out the shit you dish on da radio in single file,

write "cuz I'm vile", 2nd line good

Cuz I ain’t rapping bout packing clips,
Cuz its about a passion for stacking paper slips,

take out cuz in 1st line too redundent, take out "a" and change paper slips to chips.

I ain't rappin bout packin clips,
cuz its about a passion fo stackin chips, ( like this)


Ripping wit words till my cranium splits,
An flips da script on a bitch who’s spitting da shit,

change to

Ripping wit words till my cranium splits,
an flippin da script on a bitch who spittin sum shit, ( sumthin like that)

That’s the same as the bitch he followed in suit with,
Its stupid, for me just to stoop to the level to do this,

wack, too abstract, good flow,

But its foolish just to copy every word they spit kid,
Cuz every radio play list is the same shit,

1st line good, 2nd line wack

Be different or you gon be bitched,
An kicked around like the new kid,

"be bitched" wtf. wack

I knew diss, that’s why I do this, the way in which I do this,
Ta make hits an records an discs,

wack

But yet still remain myself in the end of all this bullshit,

aight, u had uneven bars

Leave rep if u can. Keep practicing. Elevate.

Alright, I'll do some of that, not all of it, but that definitly helps
Thnx

meh...reminds me of me eons ago...forced multi's and all...just keep spittin and you'll improve.