all i need is a hook..but i can't think of one..anyway feed me..tell me how to get better


(again i shouldn't have to point out multies or wordplay etc etc)


Precise hits when mike spits, leaves you bloody lifeless
im the nicest, plus the illest, and then twice this
typing out knowledge they havn’t discovered so far
so just like alcoholics you’re never missing a bar
got the baggy jean style dressing as a wigger
Eleven twenty four no less than other figures
I remain ill till I die and there’s no breath in my lungs
Spittin the same thrill with insane skill left on my tongue
These rappers have no class but their lessons begun
This aint serious it’s a hobby I’m impressin’ for fun
On a totally different level I surpass your rhymes
You’re the last to find mikes more than a mutherfuckin’ mastermind
You’re a class behind, well its more like two
When I rap I don’t spit its more like spew
So when I’ve said all the fire and I’m dead or retired
I just want you to remember mikes led did inspire
i know the light from the dark, aint no renegade
I write from the heart and wont stop any day
The world tends to hate me lately but I don’t know why
The would greatly appreciate if I would go die
But I wont, and it annoys these bullying bastards
To see that they wont be hearing my last words
anytime sooner than they’ll be hearing their own
when I let go of all this fear in my dome



My dreams and ideas consisted of
Ways to kill myself and other twisted thoughts
But now I have a purpose a reason to live
A hundred and ten percent is all I give
Like B.A said without rap I’m worthless
So I take hold of my dreams and grab my purpose
And when they learn that they can no-longer hurt this
Ima open their eyes and show them that I’m perfect
Giving them a mind filled of the fear I had
With remindful nightmares of how their going mad
Spittin all the hate back in their face
Showing them the world aint a fair place
Just like they showed me all of my life
Giving them my demons that crawl in the night
The demons of fear that wait around each corner
The demons that steer me into deep horrors
Cause mike aint afraid now mikes no coward
Mike doesn’t need actions cause his mic has power

stop posting parts post it once its finished

fuck you^^

i wana make sure its good..its pointless writing a full thing then having to change it all because its wack..if you right it in parts then post them up and get feed you can change the bad parts as you go on..instead of spending ages on it to change it all

and anyway i can't write hooks for shit..i might not even give it a hook

so its practically finished

a hook would be hard for this cus u rappinga bout urself but u do elevate and just keep rapping more and ll get way better

Much nicer than ANY of your older stuff. Some nice multies in there too, and you were actually saying something.

Try having more internal rhymes. Word it so that stuff can rhyme as much as possible. That's maybe not your style or anything, that's my own style, but I think it's the best way to write.

That sounds wayy to much like eminem. Im not saying your in eminems league but uh, you wont get very far because people will think your just another eminem wanna be...But its ok...

And when eminem wrote his songs, he always had the hook first :)

That sounds wayy to much like eminem. Im not saying your in eminems league but uh, you wont get very far because people will think your just another eminem wanna be...But its ok...

And when eminem wrote his songs, he always had the hook first :)

.............

That sounds wayy to much like eminem. Im not saying your in eminems league but uh, you wont get very far because people will think your just another eminem wanna be...But its ok...

And when eminem wrote his songs, he always had the hook first :)

i dont think his style is eminemish at all..

yeah ignore fiberfaggots comments from now on..its obvious hes confused the words "style" and "skin colour" or something...


thanks for the feed everyone..especially carnage since hes the only one who left proper feed

u knwo what happens wit 2 much fiber DIARIAH (fuck spelling)

i have to spread rep before giving it to half of you bastards lol

lol...

Honestly, I Don't Remember How Bad You Were The Last Tyme...But I'll Tell Ya This, Keep Writin Like This And You'll Go Places (I.E., If You Ever Think Of Puttin Out Stuff Like This In The Real World). Your Ability To Paint A Clear Image With Thoughts Through Words Is Amazing..REAL TALK!

Keep It Up...-1-

tight man.. Everything you said was real talk cuz and i could feel it all..

Really felt the multies you used man

keep writing!

Honestly, I Don't Remember How Bad You Were The Last Tyme...But I'll Tell Ya This, Keep Writin Like This And You'll Go Places (I.E., If You Ever Think Of Puttin Out Stuff Like This In The Real World). Your Ability To Paint A Clear Image With Thoughts Through Words Is Amazing..REAL TALK!

Keep It Up...-1-

thanks a lot man^^


thanks for the feed guys..

its pointless writing a full thing then having to change it all because its wack..if you right it in parts then post them up and get feed you can change the bad parts as you go on..instead of spending ages on it to change it all

Word.