my manax got me on relapse,so the next time you
ask,i'll be dancin around wearin a ski mask with
three tabs or lines of coke yeah coca cola i've been
pleased youve been diseased like the ebola virus
look how wacked out my mind gets,and my brain
tries and finds it,where the particles was behind and
it fit,let me see you spit a verse so ill its contagious
your shit be fit like finer fertilization rhymes a dozen profecies
from the anus,and like that you plan to be famous,flames is my name burnin holes thru your membrane i'm insane strap my
balls to a propain so i can feel the pain of a thousand anchors
pullin on em,with the lights dim so when i got a idea the flare
sparks exitement to a village of those listening i'm off the topic oh shit well i dropped it

... Well... Nice peice, although extremely short. And I don;t wanna cram your style, but how're we supossed to know which words rhyme with which? Try skipping a space for every bar, that's what I (and 95% other rappers on message boards) do. Makes it a lot easier.

Yeah, what dude above me said. I can pick out the rhymes myself, so I know it flows... coo' personality to the way you write, but yeah, just make it look a little cleaner.

Whatever you do, do NOT make all your lines the same length... 95% of MC's also do that, and it's where they stop having an unpredictable, solid flow and some creativity to their rhymes.

pretty much what vile said...
i could tell this was a nice piece tho. it was unique and tha scheme was nice 2..
it had no subject but it didnt matter...
god job

;three tabs or lines of coke yeah coca cola
hardy har har!