you know who i'm talkin about , the two fags who talk like they got pepper in their mouth

oh fuck yes, watch their brags they like trasvested rats who wanna shit on cats.


how ya gonna be the best when you walk around with fag hair from ya chest to ya breast fuckin lez

call me a dick , call me a rookie you will still pass up cuz homies call you pussy

and this S man i gota laugh at this homie, you just a comic fag that sips the upside of the english T

fuck location me and my boys been there , fucked you bare back like a skinned bear

back to the comic your'e sad cartoon and ass joke talkin like you got wings cuz the dot broke


fuck this shit i don't care if its my last , free world bitches K and S can kiss my ass

not bad, for a newb.
You need more flow, better wordplay, maybe do some research, look through some of my older threads, stuff like that, find shit that can really diss me. That's not really anything but a bitch fest... you gotta up your game, have better multis, better flow. Nothing really rhymes, not put together all that good...
Nice try though, but in all reality, it's too newbish... maybe someone around here will give you pointers!!!

Ummmmm, wow.

Really, give up things which involve creativity. Your GFX suck, and so do your raps.

You're not even rhyming two lines with eachother, that's a MUST. Think of something to say, and then write rhymes around it.

Use multies, rhyme more than one word at one time ie: bitch and a slut, picking it up, dick can get sucked.

that's rhyming four syllables at one time, and more than one word.

^^^ Actually I've seen worse, he's not that bad for starting out, give him that much credit. Regardless of any circumstances, IMO it could of been better researched, but regardless....

he'd probably be alright if he stuck at it got some alright newbie punches but like that don't have anything to do with you.

yea I know, he's prolly really e-crushin on me ;) that's why he didn't come at me super hard!!! ;)

Everybody sucks when they first started, I was HORRRRIIIBBBBLLLLEEE. Even my friend Jon said I sucked lol,

Keep working.

not bad, for a newb.
You need more flow, better wordplay, maybe do some research, look through some of my older threads, stuff like that, find shit that can really diss me. That's not really anything but a bitch fest... you gotta up your game, have better multis, better flow. Nothing really rhymes, not put together all that good...
Nice try though, but in all reality, it's too newbish... maybe someone around here will give you pointers!!!

I think I gotta agree.

You're not even rhyming two lines with eachother, that's a MUST.

.

actually he was writing it in actual bar form

e.g

call me a dick , call me a rookie/ you will still pass up cuz homies call you pussy//

a lot of professionals have 1 bar in one line...if you look at an actual music piece each line is considerd a bar


everything else i agree with tho...

actually he was writing it in actual bar form

e.g

call me a dick , call me a rookie/ you will still pass up cuz homies call you pussy//

a lot of professionals have 1 bar in one line...if you look at an actual music piece each line is considerd a bar


everything else i agree with tho...


It's actually 4 beats per bar. Not "one line".

This is text, not audio.

jump quick/ <--- line
Suck ma dick// <--- bar (2 lines that end each other)

It's actually 4 beats per bar. Not "one line".

This is text, not audio.

dosn't matter what it is..he may write for audios he may not write "text" ...thousands of netcees write only in audio form..

jump quick/ <--- line
Suck ma dick// <--- bar (2 lines that end each other)

in text yes.. in real music, no.