hey im new here can I get some feedback on one of my verses


The reapers eyes, stare upon a man as he sleeps outside,
Feeling the cold weather that the streets provide,
Tears filling his eyes as he weeps and cries,
Death is on his mind, the reaper creeps beside,
He can’t retreat and hide, because he’s old and scared,
He resents the rich man upon a golden chair,
Who buys all the nice things but can’t afford to spare,
a few dollars for a man heading toward despair,
who breathes the coldest air, and his nights are few,
but he won’t give up hope and he still fights it through,
but he can’t do the things he used to like to do,
so he sits and wonders what had sent his life askew,
he bids his life adieu, and takes a dying breath,
he knows there’s no chance of him defying death,
but now he’s crying less, ‘cause he accepts defeat,
the reaper takes his life, now he can rest in peace

finally a new guy who actually has talent and doesnt act like an herb that was dope dope multies dope lyrics dope everything man niceness

yeah man that was pretty nice.... sick multies i like your style...


he bids his life adieu, and takes a dying breath,
he knows there’s no chance of him defying death,
but now he’s crying less, ‘cause he accepts defeat,
the reaper takes his life, now he can rest in peace


^and that ending was brilliant... & IMO .. stay active here man... your allready one of the best..

thank god!!!

we need more people like you on this site..bring heads cuz

that was sick

love the multies used

hahah you know he aint gonna come back

thanks for the feedback everyone, i'll try and stay active here

niiice man u already pwn bank lol j/k j/k CALM DOWN!


:-O

dope...+repped!

This was great. I loved it. Nice man.