Lol my 3rd one today, i just feel like i need to keep writing more and more, but im hittin' the sack now cya


don't know why but i just got to trip
suckers are subliminally flippin' da script
and all the while they're acting so nonchalant
brother be like now what da phuck they want
'cause cell phones, computers and the On Stars
be keeping a brother flashing on the radar
big brother's checkmate is really not a lie
man it is no wonder they're angry with C.S.I
for spilling the beans by showing the scenes
that generate the ideas of criminals and fiends
plus bushwick is down for pissing on my dreams
now they want the plastic to replace the green
say what big bar codes we now have
clocking while i'm knocking down my tab
say that they want me to embed my pitts
for loss prevention now ain't that a bytch
driving in the fast lane trying to get away
tracked by satelites guess they peeped my plates
Unc's wheeling and dealing all day on the TV
how many drug commercials do we have to see
we are victims of the system that is built to fail
at first it was brothers now the sisters are in jail
and it costs less to rehab than it does to imprison
hell with society cause suckers got to make a living
and the blackman is the one who is getting robbed
they got me showing the bosses son how to do my job
then ole dummy dumb looks me right in the eye
says there's nothing to worry about and i'm like right

its good

Thanks man, working on another, but i think i should save it for battles

Flow was definaty on point ..
Vocab was good..
multis average ..
punch delivery straight foward/on point ..

would like to see ya flip some
deeper wordplay up in it ..

Structure .. Good

overaLL .. 7/10
Good LookiN' freestyle here ..
Sum room to elevate in areas ..
punch/deliery looks good..
~
peace

real ill for a freestyle it had it all, multies,vocab,punches, decent flow..all round real dope for a freestyle

damn, that was hella tuff for just ''another quick one''
holla back
no hatin
fuk nelly