well this is ma round 2 battle from tha minefiled sectiop, against kash11- i just wanted sum feedback, an what people thought of it... i want to better ma self in battling, in as many wayz as possible... thanks :D

i'm a "flaten" you quicker than "kash" made on a "money press"
made u what u've becum; but ur wackness still hasn't suppressed
even though i "tought ya."; this "My Son" is a one sided contest//
me' lyrically molestin u, worse than u "Beat" urself on a daily basis
seen that "look" u've stared at me wit, kash you "crave~this?"
or is it that, i'm a britle your bones; an ya undeniably "hate~this?"
wait. its tha "truth"; I get ur "bitches" & leave ya home "dateless"
uh uh... ur hatin' cuz u know; any who votes fer you is tasteless
buh, still- i wouldn't be "below you" if u were "totally weightless"//
let's get personal; tha reason u miss d12 board, cuz u got rode son!
u had "boppers rydin", an "helpin" ya like you were their luved one
now there it is,*BANG* tha sound of that metaphoric ego rippin gun//
ur ego's droped "13" points cuz i told it like it was; on bar "1" thru "12"
you've seen ma "11" minimal thoughts, now i'm out, ta leave u ta dwel
sit an realize, ur not in ma league; i'm heaven an ur sum wanna b hell//

UPP'N Don't sleep People.... ~1ne

~eZ

Originally posted by FöCü§

i'm a "flaten" you quicker than "kash" made on a "money press"

^^ love this line
made u what u've becum; but ur wackness still hasn't suppressed
even though i "tought ya."; this "My Son" is a one sided contest//
me' lyrically molestin u, worse than u "Beat" urself on a daily basis
seen that "look" u've stared at me wit, kash you "crave~this?"
or is it that, i'm a britle your bones; an ya undeniably "hate~this?"
wait. its tha "truth"; I get ur "bitches" & leave ya home "dateless"
uh uh... ur hatin' cuz u know; any who votes fer you is tasteless
buh, still- i wouldn't be "below you" if u were "totally weightless"//

^liked those 4

let's get personal; tha reason u miss d12 board, cuz u got rode
son!
had "boppers rydin", an "helpin" ya like you were their luved one

^^good diss

now there it is,*BANG* tha sound of that metaphoric ego rippin gun//

^dopeness

ur ego's droped "13" points cuz i told it like it was; on bar "1" thru "12"
you've seen ma "11" minimal thoughts, now i'm out, ta leave u ta dwel
sit an realize, ur not in ma league; i'm heaven an ur sum wanna b hell//


overall good, the only problem I saw was the flow was a lil off in places but nothin horrible..

its a good battle and overal good verse, flow wasnt bad, try working on your rhyming a little, then itll be complete. peace.

ayo peep mah shit Focus...

http://www.eminemweb.com/board/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2326

yea amn i did... nice shit....

Upp'n Don't Sleep!!

~eZ~

this verse had to be written from god himself to be powerful enuff to deafeat the man himself, kash11

lol just messin it was a phat verse honestly the best battle verse ive seen outta u

after the tourny we gotta do it again i need revenge