You see I know theres times
when I hated you
but to be more to the point
I never thought it true
With hair pins on the floor
it should have been no more
Yet your feelings still came through
even though you made me blue
When all I see inside you
Oh fuk it, it's not fair
People are between us
don't act like you don't care
Financial shit is trippen
When the hell you gonna be
man enough
start shippen
to the place, you know I'll be
Come on boy, or you'll be missin
out on the best thing ,
that you eva had not flippen
Outa town without you
there by my side
What will you do then,
come and tan my hide
Like I know you love it
know you need it to,
come sidle up, beside me
and I will never leave you.

Very good....good job

^^ cheers bro

your posting alots,u must be on a roll i enjoy the reads

thank you I'm getting some shit outa my system at the moment and poetry, novels painting etc is my outlet.

yes congrats on posting....

look just fuk off mate don't be so bloody rude if u havn't got anything constructive to say then don't say a word cause u r becoming a right pain in the ass.

hey im sorry, i dont make these rules but i guess to fend off lamers i need to make 25 posts so i can like "prove myself" or whatever. my suggestion for this poem is proly the same one i just posted for your other one. i can almost garantee they apply to both

my name is avril
and i post in the forum
its the month of april
and khorne finds me borin
its really not very hard my friend
to make the poems this way
to make your lines rhyme at the end
while you think what u want to say


does this remind you of your style?
so here is my suggestion, the internet is a powerful resource, perhaps read more of others poetry, read all diff types, and also i can almost garantee somewhere there is a place that will give tips on writing your own poems. im no hemmingway or whatever so someone else could teach u better then i could, but i do kno good shit wen i see it

pft I like it u don't have to.

i dont feel at all obligated to like it, trust me

If there is no obligation then don't feel obligated to giving me ur opinion, because I will feel obliged to tell you to go get fuked and take ur opinionated ass else where.