View Full Version : Some poems i've written in the last month..


Jon Bon Jovi
02-02-2006, 07:02 PM
Daydream
I close my eyes and I can see
the beauty of your smile shining at me.
The touch of your hands against my face,
stroking softly as we embrace.
Shadows from the fire, and sparkles from wine,
all my life, ive never felt so fine.
You whisper in my ears, your deepest desire,
as our sensual temperatures get even higher.
Our bodies unite and begin to melt,
for such a pleasure we've never felt.
We lye on the balcony to make our love,
As the sky and the moon, watch from above.
As we both peak, and our hot passion comes to an end,
Our bodies lye still...no more energy to lend.
I open my eyes to find the lie,
that once again ive daydreamt, of you and I.

Sex
I look into your eyes, you have a mysterious gaze.
I know your thoughts and can read you face.
You hold my hand, then lay me down,
You plant sweet kisses all around.
This emotional touch, touching my skin,
Asking you to do what you've been doing all over again.
Your hand flows over me, every curve, every part,
It seems automatice that I move my legs apart.
Then, I let you dip deep inside,
You touch my soul, it explodes my mind.
I open my mouth, telling you more,
I wanna let go of all this love in store.
You got me twisting, soaking wet
And the only thing between our bodies is sweat.
I feel you deep pusing inside of me.
You dip again...mmm... yes... harder please.
As you fill my body, I feel for your face
Your love is perfect, there's no replace.
The temperature's rising with every touch,
Your burning hot kisses please me very much.
I feel you pull out and push harder back in,
I moan from delight, with your skin on my skin.
You grab my thighs and pull me close.
I don't mind it, babe, just let it flow.
You run your fingers through my hair,
My body's slippery everywhere.
I get the shivers, but I'm not cold
Cause you get this fire lit inside my soul.
Whatever you do has me going insane
And, boy, please never stop calling my name.
You bring my body back and forth really fast,
Oooo... babe, I don't know how long I can last.
You put me in a state of ecstasy
After we're done I know I'll fall fast asleep,
But you pull me even closer, between you legs,you're calling me
I wanna talk back to you, but I can hardly speak.
You slow down and let me take a breath.
This is a night we'll never forget.
As you pull out, I know we're through and I gotta leave
After so much lovemaking I can hardly breathe.
I know we'll share more fun, but it being over makes me sad,
Yet I love everything you did cause this was the best sex I ever had.

My Fathers Anger
Darkness of your anger
surrounds me
like the rotting shroud of death
forever reaching out to devour me
like an angry malevolent demon
rising from the fiery pits of the blackest hell
Heat from your angry breath
burst forth with each new word
like that of a dragon breathing fire
to scorch and to sear
as it threatens to consume
to burn to destroy
all that is good and light
all that is pure in this life
I struggle so hard to survive
Your anger and hatred
eagerly strive to take away
my meager existence
even to the destruction of my very soul
Your anger attacks
as a vampire stalking prey
in the dead of the night
thinking only of its own desires
its own dark needs
as razor sharp fangs
sink into flesh
in the cold darkness of the night
methodically draining its victim
of the very essence of life
Will this tragedy never cease
this continuing anger
burning deep within your heart
within your mind
How do I stop this darkness
from overtaking from devouring you, how
How do I stop it from dragging me
into the putrid fiery nether regions along with you.
Angel of light look into this heart
Heal the anger burning so volcanic and dark
let this destruction cease
Take away all traces of bitterness and pain
give each tortured soul a new start once again.

A Million Times We Will Miss You
A million times we will miss you,
A million times we will cry.
If love alone could of saved you, you would of never died.
In life we loved you dearly,
in death we love you still.
In our hearts we hold a place no other one could fill.
The Golden Gates stood open,
God saw you needed rest,
Gods garden must be beautiful,he always picks the best.


More coming soon

DeA†h
02-02-2006, 11:08 PM
Wow,...i really felt that,.....very,very nice:)

Jon Bon Jovi
02-03-2006, 01:05 AM
Thank you :)

~lil Matthew~
02-03-2006, 03:29 AM
nice job :)

Carnage™
02-03-2006, 06:57 PM
What's the point of posting shit like "nice job" or "very, very nice" that's not feed back, damn.


Anyway, the first three were sick. I know a lot went into them, I could feel the emotion, it was intense as hell. The word choice was great, nice imagery, the second one had some nice repetition (don't know if it was intentional or not) maybe the second one could've been split up into a couple of stanzas though. The last one, was short but straight to the point, wasn't as good as the others but I still liked it.

Jon Bon Jovi
02-03-2006, 09:30 PM
Any input in apreciated. So thanks KayJay. And special thanks to Ben for going into detail :)

50 years ago
02-04-2006, 02:02 PM
I didn't like the sex one...nothing personal, I'm just frustrated and it doesn't help.haha

The first one's good, but not my favorite. Not much I can say though, I just thought it was too obvious.lol Different styles, I guess.

Father's Anger was brilliant though, best I've read from you.

"to burn to destroy
all that is good and light
all that is pure in this life
I struggle so hard to survive
Your anger and hatred
eagerly strive to take away
my meager existence
even to the destruction of my very soul
Your anger attacks
as a vampire stalking prey
in the dead of the night
thinking only of its own desires "

You're really improving. Your launguage is a lot more poetic now, and not as "common". I like that. You're getting your own style.

Jon Bon Jovi
02-04-2006, 11:25 PM
lol that's a shitty reason not to like the first one! :(
But thanks for the compliment Josh.

50 years ago
02-05-2006, 12:50 AM
lol I just can't read or listen to sex stuff, 17 months.....mayyyneeee

chelsy
02-06-2006, 03:04 AM
although u hate me jadey but still..
\tis really feelin..
makes me feel alive...

*much love*
:)

Jon Bon Jovi
02-06-2006, 03:23 AM
^Thanks. I don't hate you, i don't know you to hate you. And i only hate 2 people in this world.

And Josh.....i feel you. lol.

chelsy
02-06-2006, 04:13 AM
*feels good*
n those 2 are???lol

:)

Jon Bon Jovi
02-06-2006, 11:05 AM
Just some girls from my high school.

Saoirse
02-06-2006, 12:27 PM
What's the point of posting shit like "nice job" or "very, very nice" that's not feed back, damn.

you are too funny:D but it's true...what's the point? i do it for the money:p

EcHo
02-06-2006, 06:42 PM
MUCH RESPECT......... i loved every line of every one so much emotion and passion................MUCHO RESPECTO >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Darkness
02-07-2006, 12:37 AM
loved all of them,but the last 1 was my fav,cuz i can relate 2 it, got a lot of dead friends

DeA†h
02-07-2006, 04:16 AM
^Why???'Cause u slept wit them???lol

Jon Bon Jovi
02-07-2006, 04:45 AM
^Huh?

Anyway..thank you Echo and Cane :)

DeA†h
02-07-2006, 04:56 AM
got a lot of dead friends

..^^..

chelsy
02-07-2006, 05:57 AM
^haha!!

imao..

woot...woot!!


hey creff!
cunt rep u on dis one... it said u hatta spread sum rep first!imao..

chelsy
02-07-2006, 05:57 AM
hey ...
no beef with none cane!:)

DeA†h
02-07-2006, 09:38 AM
^haha!!

imao..

woot...woot!!


hey creff!
cunt rep u on dis one... it said u hatta spread sum rep first!imao..

U gotta' rep some people before u can give it to me:)

avril
02-08-2006, 07:48 PM
Jade these r beautifull, Over a year you have really blossemed into great expresionism, if in your future, writting is something u desire I would be sure to pick up an edition.

Jon Bon Jovi
02-08-2006, 08:17 PM
Aww thank you:) I love writting and it's dope to hear people like my stuff. Thanks:)

Darkness
02-14-2006, 11:06 PM
^haha!!

imao..

woot...woot!!


hey creff!
cunt rep u on dis one... it said u hatta spread sum rep first!imao..



Keep talkin shit and i'll rape you...i dont give a fuck if yer ten::D :D

DeA†h
02-15-2006, 03:40 AM
^NOW,who's the child molester?

Darkness
02-15-2006, 03:46 AM
i was just jokin

DeA†h
02-15-2006, 03:48 AM
Sure,whatever

Carnage™
02-15-2006, 05:20 AM
Keep talkin shit and i'll rape you...i dont give a fuck if yer ten::D :D


hahahaha, awwwwwww man, that was sick, but funny.

Jon Bon Jovi
02-15-2006, 06:24 AM
Shut up everyone!!!!!!!! :)

MCD
02-15-2006, 08:23 AM
haha yeah some of these were pretty cool....didnt like the first one though....
sex was..woo..lol..haha..made me nervous reading it...but it was dope..you came confident with it..and some of the lines were nice..
The fathers anger one was the deepest...it was very dark and painful..really got the point across..and the imagery was sick..one or 2 generic lines and meta's here and there...but it was still really nice..

The last one was short and sweet...i really liked this line

A million times we will cry.
If love alone could of saved you, you would of never died.

Overall..i think you got mad potential...you're not quite there yet...but if you keep writing..and delve deeper into your soul..i think your poetry could be really sick...haaha...if you stay my rap groupie..i'll be your poetry groupie..

anyone in this thread who said "wow that was great"...you're gonna have to do better than that to get in her pants im afraid..try reading the poems next time;)

Jon Bon Jovi
02-17-2006, 04:39 PM
LOL no-one is getting into my pants.
Anyway, thanks for the compliments, I will write more and try to develop. And yeah I'm still your rap groupie :)

chelsy
02-23-2006, 07:57 AM
"wow dat was gggrreat!"
yo!

chelsy
02-23-2006, 07:57 AM
can i get in yer pantsnow?
lol...

MCD
02-24-2006, 12:52 PM
^^im sure she'd let you...you're only 9 so you have the advantage.

chelsy
02-24-2006, 01:04 PM
i am 10 for christ's sake!
i meean erm...
in jus a month.
hudda!

Jon Bon Jovi
02-24-2006, 08:08 PM
can i get in yer pantsnow?
lol...

Considerin' you're a 10 year old little girl...SURE!


lol...no.

chelsy
02-25-2006, 05:27 AM
:(...

Pooh!

chelsy
02-25-2006, 05:28 AM
Hey Jade..
Vat Duz Rep Power Mean?

MCD
02-28-2006, 12:57 PM
hahaha @ "pooh"...lol..quality....

here's a poem

Jade, Jade, The loveable Spade
Dug a hole for someones Grave
She filled it up, her minge -built-up
and grew into a penis..so now she's called Dave

chelsy
03-02-2006, 10:21 AM
^poohs^

^haaaha!

Jon Bon Jovi
03-02-2006, 10:30 AM
hahaha @ "pooh"...lol..quality....

here's a poem

Jade, Jade, The loveable Spade
Dug a hole for someones Grave
She filled it up, her minge -built-up
and grew into a penis..so now she's called Dave

lol....that touched my heart. Thanks. :).

DeA†h
03-02-2006, 11:47 PM
Jade, Jade, The loveable Spade
Dug a hole for someones Grave
She filled it up, her minge -built-up
and grew into a penis..so now she's called Dave
Ha...

D.O.A
03-03-2006, 12:02 AM
hahaha @ "pooh"...lol..quality....

here's a poem

Jade, Jade, The loveable Spade
Dug a hole for someones Grave
She filled it up, her minge -built-up
and grew into a penis..so now she's called Dave


LMAO....wtf

Jon Bon Jovi
03-07-2006, 11:33 AM
It's true.