Young Pimpin (http://artists.mp3s.com/artist_song/2512/2512066.html)

here the lyrics
chorus2xs
man we young pimpin u better move out the way,
man we young pimpin from paris texas to tk,
man we young pimpin becuz yall know what it is,
man we young pimpin,
i say we YOUNG PIMPIN

i ride in the best i got a lexus on twenty's
and when it comes to sex and money i gots plenty
i got so much ice i can keep a whole city froze
i bring out new shit every month and I blossom like a rose
the moral to this story can really help you out
fuck falling in love fuck what that bitch be about
you can fuck that hoe and she can smile and go
get her momma while you at it that don't mean you no hoe
you can smile too while you smoking on weed
her pussy cold now but it won't be when she leave
Big Dick,Big Balls yeah I am the hottest
in every hoes eyes I'm the hottest
im a thug ass nigga from the dirty south
here to let you know what i'm all about
im about money, jewerly, and tights ass trucks
every now and then hoes might get fucked
if she ain't ridin in my bentley or lexus
if she ain't from Louisiana

chorus2xs

well they call me the master of young pimpin,
kool aid up in my cup becuz das what im sippin,
dont u know we str8 ballin we under age drivers,
man i hit mo stunts than super dave and mcgyver,
im reppin texarkana cuz u know im off the hook,
man we always keep em shook,
dont get mad becuz we crooks,
im bout to hit I20 so i can chill wit ma folks,
see we aint no joke,
im 15 and im riding spokes,
its been 6 months and my cd is still selling,
my show was last week and the fans are steal yellin,
im the CEO,come and see me flow,
if i catch a bootlegger u gon see him go,
see we spit mo game then a freakin X Box,
i put red spots on ya,like u had da chicken pocs,
man dont mess wit texas boyz cuz we da throwedest on da earth,
dont u kno i been ballin every since my birth say what

chorus till beat turns off

IIGHT, the hook was okay
first verse was wack!!!....
no emotion, felt like t was read to me....

second verse was a lil better, felt he came a bit better hen the first verse....

but i felt the hook blew ff the 1 verse....

okay piece....
4/10

I hate shit like this..Reminds me of Ludacris.....No emotion..No punches, no wordplay..no anything interesting...i mean..like Ms.Dynamite says.."who gives a shit, about the things you own?..certainly not me"..
Found it boring to read...personally, i hated it.....

why u hate on Ludacris
he better than those hoes in yo sig
who gives a shit bout wordplay
this shit is for entertainment
and if u listen to boring shit just for"wordplay"and "punchlines"then u need to get a life and realise whats tight and whats not
just cuz u dont got the things i rap about dont mean u gotta be a fuckin hata

ha.....yeah boy...the "hoes" in my signature created a genre..invented a new form of music..what the fuck has Ludacris ever done original?..
..im not hating on YOU personally, i just dont like this kind of shit..the "bling bling" attitude is a lil played IMO....
...but yes i enjoy music with more meaning to it..so sue me!..i actually listen to the lyrics and work stuff out for myself in my head..that way you get the whole feeling of the song..some people are different..you in this case.

"just cuz u dont got the things i rap about dont mean u gotta be a fuckin hata"

Just so you know, i come from a very well-off family..No, i have no idea what life is like in the Ghetto and i couldnt give a fuck-less...
..I dont want Loadsa "ice" and "bling bling" shit anyway, i aint a motherfucking TOWNIE piece of shit..i dont go round and start fights with people for no reason..i dont wear skin-tight Nike Pants..I dont Mug old-ladies for a couple of quid to buy a packet of cheap cigarettes...
...apparently you do:D

actaully ludachris uses sum wordplay
but i like my music 2 have meaning 2 it..
every one is different

U say its all for entertainment and it doesn't need wordplay - but in a text it does. Thats what a lot of tha idea of text is about.
As an audio piece, that might be ok (i couldn't get into it enogh to finish) but in text what battles and rhymes are mainly judged upon are wordplay and punches - and since punches normally include wordplay, then it is fair to say that wordplay is an integral part of texts.

Now, if that was an audio that you gave us tha lyrics to - then say so and people won't judge so quickly.

And don't hate on any kinda criticism - even tho' D said he hated it he didn't start on you so instead of responding you should've asked him to give examples and details - thats what a lot of true people'd do.

That is the reason most people are here, afterall. To get better.

But keep rhyming and elevating. PZ>

SLEEPERS+DIE

PZ>m, "stuntastic" - you can s

Originally posted by ObLiViOn
Now, if that was an audio that you gave us tha lyrics to - then say so and people won't judge so quickly.

The link to the song at the top of the page must not count.

missed that - still needed word play

PZ>

Originally posted by ObLiViOn
missed that - still needed word play

PZ>

Nah, the MC-style of wordplay is only good for battle rhymes, and only in moderation.

Most wordplay in text on here is wack anyway.

Originally posted by I Love That


Nah, the MC-style of wordplay is only good for battle rhymes, and only in moderation.

Most wordplay in text on here is wack anyway.


well... why you dissen us.... instead try and help us get better so we can elsevate and get 2 your standards
1

I am helping.

it doesn't look like you are helping to me - its looks like you are riding some serious Stuntastic related dick.

But whatever man - i'm too tired for ANOTHER beef - i make enemies easily enough.

PZ>

I'm sure it doesn't look like that to you. What prevents you from seeing that is probably the same thing that makes you think gimmicks indicate quality.

Nobody needs to use wordplay to be dope...

Especially if by "wordplay" you mean inserting hordes of quotation marks to highlight meaningless co-relations between awkward combinations of unnatural and unrelatable words, creating absolutely no sense of dialogue and character.

Also - Nobody needs corny punch lines in order to make a series of lines that could never flow onbeat, or display some poetic visuals look like they have a meaning when they don't.

That's what you need in order to be wack... and none of that is superior to "bling bling".

Even in battle it's all about the diss and the rhyme. Complexity is kinetic and shallow, whereas the actual diss comes from thought, and the interesting attitude comes from personality.

It's hilarious how a textcee would look at Nas's verse on "verbal Intercourse" and say "needs more wordplay. Lacks punchlines... not much vocab or multi's".

give me your definition of an "unnatural" word sparky:)

Um No the fuck i do not rob old ladies for cigarettes
i dun smoke cigarettes,i smoke cigars
i dun wear skin tight nike pants like you granny do
and the rap i spit is not called "bling bling"
its called Dirty Souf style so u will kno

and just cuz I Love That disagrees with u Ob..what ever
doesnt mean he is dick ryding
i can say the same about u

:rolleyes: @ this beef....


As for the track itself, I think flow is the main element you need to focus on stuntastic. Lyrics and beat fit ya style, hook gets a bit old.

Originally posted by []v[]CD
give me your definition of an "unnatural" word sparky:)

"Superflous", awkward and out of place.

yeah it might be awkward and out of place but that doesnt mean anything...infact isnt evry single word on the planet "unnatural"?..our vocabulary was grafted and manufactured by us as humans and not foreign processes..so i guess the word you pointed out is "unnatural" but so is our whole dictionary:D

Damn... I forgot to eliminate the retort beforehand.

All words are "man made", and therefore "unnatural" and subject only to the users rationale, but what makes any given word divert from harmony with popular opinion is their intrusive uses.

I could sum it up with the phrase "act natural" when you're on the spot and have to act like nothing's going on - You know what acting natural is right? Even though you're wearing manmade clothes, and probably a hairstyle that was physically and/or chemically changed you can use them in a way that would look natural and inconspicious. Same thing can be done with words... word choices and arrangements that don't look out of order, conspicious, or wrong.

When a statement, already lacking in merit, is roundabouted and cluttered with a very awkward choice of words it creates a statement that just isn't good. It goes from a relatable and fluently expressed idea, to a jumbled and near meaningless series of words that happen to rhyme at the end. From a perfect sphere to a crooked, jagged-edged trapazoid. (ie: I could c&p a bar on here and say "that's wack" and make my point, or I could type all this... only I'd have to remove the subject or dillute it down to 1% of what's on screen) I'll give some examples labeled with an asterik (*) -

Some people in this post seem like they would look down on 'me and my niggas snatch loot from police'. Not even because it wasn't some ill shit, or said as 'my african american aquaintances and I perform illegal acts in view of law enforcement officers' to be posh, P.C. and grammatically correct...

...but because they didn't say something like *'criminalistic cohorts interchange immense monetary monuments inside vast vision of cyberbionic constabulary enforcements' or *'my "friends" "pal"adin when we steal from our "enemies" the police'.

I'll take "me and my niggas" any day... but that's just me. I like illness, and I'm impartial to one kind of subpar lyricism, yet I despise another.

Originally posted by I Love That
Damn... I posted a really long thing here
I've tried to say more or less the same thing for months as regards "unnatural" words and stuff like that...I'm gonna bite your argument I'm afraid:D

Originally posted by Mister Bob Gray

I've tried to say more or less the same thing for months as regards "unnatural" words and stuff like that...I'm gonna bite your argument I'm afraid:D

"you know you my nigga"

wordplay doesn't equal illness for me either