Arite, I aint been around here in a while, I been busy and shit...anyway, I had a bit of spare time, so decided to write a verse, tell me what ya all think...BTW its based on me...

Went 2 see tha doctor, coz I been feelin' down//
Shes at tha Health Centre, in tha middle of Town//
She think I mite be depressed, I duno what to think//
I wish I wern't there, wish I was sittin' wif a drink//
But its true, and now she writin out a script//
Its for some pills, man why am I feelin so shit?//
Next its down to tha Chemist, to pick up the tabs//
After that im off home, spose I best get a cab//
When I get home, Im'a go lie in my room//
Think bout what I been told, cant believe that its true//
Then I get angry, it all gets too much//
I go find a knive, my wrists Im'a cut//
It dont make things better, it just makes them worse//
But if i cut deep enough, il be taken away in a hurse//
Cause is life really worth livin'? Goin' thru' all this shit?//
Fuck it, ill think about it later, back to the wrists Im'a slit//
I cant tell anybody, fuck I feel so trapped!//
But then I s'pose thats why Im writin this rap//
Im all into music, especially hip-hop//
Go 2 town every week, cop a new cd from tha shop//
Back to topic tho, Im'a teach y'all a lesson//
My names Chris Price, and I suffer from DEPRESSION...

How long have you been doing this for? I hope to god that you're not 19 because your vocab is terrible.It had a good concept I'll give you that.It wasnt as bad as some of the shit that gets posted here but you could work on some shit.

Not long...fair nuff

:werd:
Same here, nig. It gots potential for tha concept and all, but u need a thesaurus. Some of yo rhymes don't rhyme: "room" don't rhyme wit "true" and "much" don't rhyme wit "cut," etc. U gots to think ahead to the next rhyme, thats what people who diss rap don't understand. Its like playin chess, u gots to think about ur next move. Keep doin ur thang dog, reprazent. +peace+

that would be a sick reading out at like a meeting or somthing but for text its needs more vocab and wordplay