I dunno if there's anything
that I can say
to make you understand
why I feel this way.
You're on all these pills,
can't even see that you're hooked
your life is a fucken mess-
if you'd only stop to take a look.
If you don't care-
then why should I?
Ok, there's more
yeah, it goes back to when I was 5.

It was me, you and dad
we were living happily
Until you couldn't handle it anymore
and we had to leave.
See, daddy was a quadraplegic
hit by a drunk driver in 1979
And trying to get him to walk again
was how you spent ALL of your time.
I'll quote you from the paper-
"I'm not giving up until he walks,"
Maybe you felt that way in beginning
But in the end it was all talk.
I remember when we left him
You had given up, found someone new
I was confused & I was young,
But I knew this wasn't you.
You had a new man,
and we moved out
left daddy by himself
with workers all around.
Then the day came
It seems like yesterday
I found a needle in the bathroom
and you didn't know what to say.

You left me at the sitters house
you never came to get me
I remember sitting on the porch waiting
and waiting, for nobody apparantly.
You had better things to do,
I was the last priority
Not important enough to you
I didn't have a fucken clue.
Next thing I remember,
I was going across the street
I was going to live with your sister
Because she DID care about me.
You came to visit on the weekends,
sometimes alone
Sometimes with a friend
I can't really tell the beginning from the end.
It all kinda runs together
I see bits and pieces from there,
but I still knew this much-
You didn't care.

One day after school,
Aunty Kathy sat me down
and told me I couldn't visit daddy anymore
because he was no longer around.
He had gone to Heaven
and was looking from above
he would always be here with me
He would always give me love.

The years passed by,
there was courts and supervised visitation
My Aunt wasn't giving me up so easy
without any hesitation.
I moved back with you,
when I was 10
This was a new beginning,
my old life came to an end.
I lost all of my friends,
the only school I knew
My Aunt, Uncle and Cousin
and I came to live with you.
Between your new men
and going from school to school
I didn't know anyone,
and I felt like a fool.

When I turned 14
and got a fucken clue
I had a really deep question
considering I was born in '82...
My daddy couldn't move,
since 1979
SO......you mean to tell me you
had sex during that time??
You were caught off guard
and didn't know what to say
when I asked you "How was I born?"
and shot a shitload of questions your way.
You told me "He's not your dad,
your real dad is dead too,
But you do have a brother-
who's always wanted to meet you."
So here I am,
with my life I've known forever
trying to fit the peices
that just won't go together.

How do you feel
when your whole life is a lie,
and you try to forget it
but no matter how hard you try...
The pain is too real,
it won't go away
I wish I could just go back and
erase one fucken day.
The day that he died,
all alone cause of YOU
Because you were out doing what
YOU had to do.

I see you now
after all the okay years
why do you want to
bring me MORE fucken tears??
You only think of you,
you haven't got a clue
how much I fucken hate you
in ALL that you do.
Why should I be there,
for you when you need me
When all you gave me
were horrible memories that will always be?

Em'z Princess: "poetry is meant to be about deep feelings and thoughts
you shouldn't write it about some chick you met on a forum
you know what i mean?"

Is this more seep and thoughtful for you?! LOL I just read your post on my other poem thread, and realized maybe I should get more deep on here...

Well, there ya have it!! Now that I am balling my eyes out over here!!! LOL

That is well, very sad. I'm NOT dissin you here for the record. The poem sounds like a rap, which is cool. It's a very sad poem & I would understand if you never talked to your Mom again. That's just fucked up.. I feel badly about your dad passing away like that, that's fucked up man. Again it's a good poem/rap I like it, but I'm the type of person who can't help but feel that pain also. I'm a cancer so I'm overly emotional. I also noticed you're a Leo, and it does explain more about your personality *If you believe in horoscopes, I do*. Anyhow that's all. If I were you, which I'm not lol.. I wouldn't talk to your Mom again.

I just noticed a typo in my 2nd post, for those who didn't know, I obviously meant Deep...not Seep!! ;)

Thanks, I'm glad you, of all people, can appreciate my poem!! LOL

My relationship with my mom goes way deeper than this poem though. There's alot more that maybe I will write about some other time.

I DO believe in horoscopes, I DO, I DO!! LOL I am a Leo. It's the way to go :)

wow thats a good poem/rap...keep it up n keep em comin...

Thanks. :)

Yes, indeed it was...very deep in thought and emotional...obviously theres more too it...
but its good for people to let their feelings out through poems and stuff...very good...ur poems are interesting to read:) Keep it up!

I'll try! LOL :)

Your welcome, no need to thank me though. I'm an honest person, as if ya didn't know that by now LOL ;) I like your sit & I was honestly ROTFLMAO when I read the one dedicated to me, that was even good. I like your style of poetry, It's not the same as others.. which is cool. See when I write, it's like a novel, rather then a poem.. Kindof like my own journal in a sense. I wish I still have my poem book from HS that's when my shit was really good.. Now I never have time to write, which blows. Anyhow keep them up.

Oh & I'm sure that everything goes way deeper then that. I couldn't imagine. Write more.

Yeah, my daughter was playing next door, I usually don't have time to write either...unless it's a thoughtless, short & meaningless poem like "Biiiiiiiiotch!!!!!" <---- LMAO :) But I figured since I was chillin on the board, and nobody was on, I'd just write a fucken life story poem!! LOL (Well, a scattered version I should've titled part one!) LOL

fuck thats really good
emotional and deep thats really good
keep these kinda ones coming
i enjoy reading them

that was amazing, keep them coming, i like reading your poems/lyrics and trying to make it into my own tune in my head and sing along to it type of thing if you get what i mean?

Thanks guys :)

no problem...peace out

Yeah, I see what you're saying Adam, I'm glad you like it :)

..............................

wow. A+. I am speechless

I think that's the best poem I have ever written, now that I just read it again! lol
Definately the longest! lol

You should put another one up...

I got a few up, I got books of them, just hard to decide which ones to put up! LOL

Haha...yo, i like the updated pics u got...check out the pics i put up in the "photos" section or whatever the fuck it is and tell me what u think...lol

Will do!! If I can find them, I've never been in the photo section I don't think....

go to the main page, and its like towards the bottom...

i think you 2 should hook up or something, you seem to have a really nice relationship going at the moment! go for it ;) Peace out homies!

LOL, I think we just have compatible personalities.....but I am engaged, and live a few states away!! LOL ;)

i know your engaged but i was just saying lol yeah you sem to have compatible personalities! Peace out homies! oh and i don't mean to be rude but i just thought i'd compliment you by saying that you are very pretty and beautiful!

God Adam....you are soooooo fucken rude! LOL

How dare you!!! :) TY

your welcome lol :)

Yo, its time for you to learn some new slang. Instead of saying "she is pretty and beautiful," repeat after me "that bitch is bangin". LOL thats how we do it.. BTW, shady lady, u should off ur ex. Pull a 97' Bonnie and Clyde job. lol.

LOL, yeah, don't think it hasn't crossed my mind!! LOL

Did I just say that?! HAHAHAHA

Shady_Kid i was just being polite to the lady!

Therez ah place called heaven n ah place called hell and ah place called prison and a place called jail.............................................

Is there really?! LOL

Damn

why did you write that if you don't mind me asking, i couldn't help but get confused from that!

It was in regards to what Outsiderz wrote! :)

haha!! 97' Bonnie and Clyde me n my daughter yeh....... :cool:

I know yeah, but why did Outsiderz write that?? I don't understand! Oh Outsiderz has done it again....Why!?!?!?!?

Dont think u listin 2 SSLP alot do ya son..........................................

yeah i do, but all i'm saying is why do you just come out with them for no reason?

and daddies prolly on his way to all of em except one....cuz mommas got a new husband and a stepson

lol ^^^^^^^^^ thats y

shady kids good for that! We were going back and forth in a couple of threads where Em "fans" were like, "WHAT?" LOL

no doubt, i knwo every word to every song...lol sometimes they just jump out of me..lol

I know whatcha mean!!! Was just thinking...

If I ever stick it to any singer in show biz, it'd be Jennifer Lopez
and Puffy you know this.
Sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother,
I still fuck her wit no rubber, and cum inside her and have a son and a new brother at the same time and just say that it ain't mine! What's my name?!

hmm yes...very true..lol

LMAO.....

for one of us anyways!!

lol... you got me there.

that some deep shit homeboy i cant help but think that reminds me of sum utha shit i herd. im not sayin u bitin ppls rhymez but them lyrics r recogniesable of ems underground shit like infinite no offence g

that some deep shit homeboy i cant help but think that reminds me of sum utha shit i herd. im not sayin u bitin ppls rhymez but them lyrics r recogniesable of ems underground shit like infinite no offence g


yo! blud u from Brixton south ldn? and yea them lyrics r from SSLP N MMLP :D

that some deep shit homeboy i cant help but think that reminds me of sum utha shit i herd. im not sayin u bitin ppls rhymez but them lyrics r recogniesable of ems underground shit like infinite no offence g


HMMMMMM....................you're quick!

lol ^^^^

that some deep shit homeboy i cant help but think that reminds me of sum utha shit i herd.

^^ THis reminds me! I can't remember for the life of me what song it is, but I'm pretty sure it's off of D12 World...

Not sure who it is either, one of them black dudes (HAHAHA J/K) but he's like, "Some whole nutha other shit..." <----I was like, "Wait a minute...doesn't that mean the same thing?! LOL Don't those cancel eachother out or something?!" LOL

Anyone know what I am talking about-or notice it too??

Nutha Other

lol you are in la-la land. its not even d12. lolol. its from the fuckin encore cd, from stat quo's verse on spend some time. he goes...

but you was different thought we shared a covenant.
I even held yo hand in pub-ul-lic
we sufferin because of this...
shorty on some whole notha otha shit.

ANYWAYS i think hes saying whole nother other like another person she was fuckin. lol.

LOL how about the WORST verse in this song is 50's when hes like "Em introduced us ..50 this is tanya, tanya this is 50. good song besides his verse.

Yeah, but whatever song it was, whoever said it....it's not making much sense!! LOL

Whole nother other <-----nother means: ???? Is that like ghetto slang for other?! Nother other?? LOL

WHatever, shady kid.

God I can SO relate to that (the drugs, that is)

that is a really good poem... makes me think of some of the shit i went and am going through. u should really keep writin. ya'll will see me on here sometime or another!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, I didn't see this for awhile and the thanks is kinda late...but hey, whatcha gonna do!?!

LOL, I think we just have compatible personalities.....but I am engaged, and live a few states away!! LOL ;)

(update) LMAO...yeah...that didn't work out.

This is a random up, Leah.

I was linking Bank to it, but then I had to laugh when I saw myself saying I was engaged. I mean, I was...but I'm not anymore. Whatev. lol

haha I hear you, I've.....been there.

Will you marry me?

Mail me the ring and I'll let you know. ;) LOL

:rofl:

Screw it, you can ask me.:D

can i ask you? wed have to go to vermont tho.....

LoL


Why Vermont? And are you asking me or Josh? LOL

josh duh lol

Vermont allows gay marriages.

And no, I'm waiting on 'patra.

WOW...incredibly deep, so much emotion....not much i can say because there isn't a lot that hasn't already been said. fantastic piece, keep writing.